Fuck Puck Love

Dual pov

Ezra

We are done.

I tried and she turned me down.

We. Are. Over.

I feel my heart pound in my chest and my breathing starts to pick up. I drove straight here after our meeting at the ice cream parlor and as I suited up I felt an ache in my throat, the kind you can only get when you are holding back tears.

I sit in the locker room at the hockey rink where I grew up playing suiting up, I need something to distract me and hockey has always done that.

Growing up I knew there was one thing I would never be, and that was my father, yet the older I get the more I feel myself following his footsteps.

I always knew I wanted to be a good man, the kind where they don't cheat on their partners or hurt them and somehow I've done just that.

I cheated on her and for that, I could understand why she would never forgive me.

I'm a terrible person.

Im selfish.

Those are the only thing keeping me believing there is still chance because i cannot live the rest of my life with out Star. She is what keeps my life bright.

What happens if without her becomes my always?

Vienna

I was completely wrong. What he said changed absolutely everything. But i have to be stronger that my mom was, I can't pretend like it never happened.

I drive to the nearest park and stare at the field until i finally break.

A sob makes its way out of me rippling my whole body as it comes. sob after sob, cry after cry, tear after tear, i realize just how in love with Ezra i am.

I grab my jacket out of the passenger seat to muffle a scream i am about to let out.

I know if I wasn't currently sitting down a would be on my knees sobbing until i could no longer breath.

I scream into my jacket and as I pull it apart a little spit of mine is left on the jacket making me feel pathetic.

I let out a sob that racks my whole body in ripples. My mascara is running down my face and my tears are so heavy, the collar of my shirt is soaked.

I look up and into the mirror on the sun visor and stare at my eyes. How did it get to this point? I think.

 It made me realize I'm doing this to myself, it was my choice to do this and i chose wrong.

Will he want me after I just rejected him because I need him. 

He needs to be my always, my forever.

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Super short chapter but this is a turning point in the book so i kind of wanted to have it be its own thing.

I know i have been gone for so long but when i tell you i had the worst motivation and writers block i mean it. Im sorry i let you down.