Handsome pt.2

5

-2 days later-

Amaria's POV

It's been two days since we have been home from the hospital, we were there for three days and now my baby is going to be one week old in two days. Im not gonna lie these past few days have been terrible, I don't feel like doing this mom shit and it's all because of this postpartum shit. Im not taking any medication because I don't want to become dependent on them, so instead i'm fighting this shit off head on.

I feel drained, I feel like a terrible mother and wife and I feel fat and ugly. I know it's barely even been a week and I know my situation was entirely different from a normal birth but I still felt all these things. I have been overly emotional and snappy. Everything annoys me and everything makes me cry, I miss being able to laugh and smile and I know Dave misses it too and its makes me feel like shit.

My body is still healing but on a positive note it's been healing at a faster pace than usual. I still need a lot of assistance from Dave but i'm not far off from being fully healed. I don't want to feel all these things i'm feeling at the moment but it's like I can't help it.

"Baby, you need anything before I take a quick nap?" Dave asked me peeping his head through Messiah's  bedroom door. "No I'm good" I said continuing to feed Messiah. "Okay just wake me up if you need anything" he said as I nodded and he left.

Messiah loves to eat, he doesn't like bottles much, only if his grandma's or his father is feeding him will he accept, but when he is with me he only wants it straight from my breast. I try to feed him a bottle cause my nipples be hurting but he refuses.

"You ain't had enough yet?" I ask looking down at him as he furrows his eyebrows looking up at me while continuing to breastfeed. "Aight my bad" I chuckle. A few moments later he was knocked out. I got him situated and put him in his crib before leaving out his room quietly. I walked down the hallway into our room peeping my head through the door to see Dave asleep.

I slowly made my way down the stairs as it is still painful to do so at a normal pace. Once I made it to the bottom of the stairs, I went to the kitchen to find something to cook for Dave. Im five days out, I should be able to cook and clean for my husband at this point.

I got out all the ingredients from the fridge laying it out on the counter, I got out the knives and wooden spoons, all I needed was the pot and pan but that meant I would have to bend down to reach it and I can't do that yet without Dave's help. "fuck" I mumble to myself. Whatever fuck it, let's just try and see.

I opened the cabinet door to  the pots and pans and before I could do anything I heard Dave's voice from behind me. "What do you think you're doing?" he said startling me. "Oh, I was just going to cook" I said as he shook his head. "Ari sit yo ass down somewhere, you know damn well you not supposed to be moving around doing the most cause of your stitches" he said. "But what are we going to eat for dinner?" I asked. "My moms cooked for us, there is plenty of food stored in the fridge, and even if there wasn't we would get take out, now come to bed with me" he said as I sighed and he grabbed my hands walking us to the stairs. He helped me up slowly and we made out way to our bedroom.

"Do you think I look ugly?" I ask Dave as we lay in bed together. "Ari don't ask me that stupid ass question" he said sleepily. I pulled the cover up turning my back towards him and cried silently. I felt Dave move closer to me wrapping his arms around me. "You're the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on Ari" Dave said as I sniffled. "Really?" I ask as Dave kissed my cheek. "Really, from the moment I met you all the way up until now, I have seen you in your worst but you still the most beautiful woman to walk this earth in my eyes, and don't you ever think twice about it" he said making me smile.