Behind Closed Doors

'Wrong Pager'

"... and I can't be responsible for ruining what you two could have..."

Stupid.

"... what you do have."

Naïve.

Alex should not have gone to her. She didn't know why she bothered. Why did she approach Piper? Why did she arrive at the hospital, confront her? What they had was nothing. Piper was a one-night stand. Her doctor. Nothing more. Alex never asked for someone. She never wanted someone to be with them. She never came to anyone. They always came to her. It was something she was proud about; something she used to her advantage within the drug ring. Getting her little mules to do the odd job, deliver the drugs, the money. They were good at that.

Just a doctor. That was all. Piper was a woman, engaged to a man whos out of reach. And that one night when they kissed, when Alex escorted her back to her place, helped her out of her clothes, that one night was an accident. Piper was engaged. And she didn't want Alex. They weren't meant to sleep together, they weren't mean to be anything. Alex had one-night stands before, and she easily walked away from them, forgot about them.

But Piper?

"... I'm with Larry..."

Piper was different. She was nice, she was smart, she was her own person. Alex didn't see her as a potential "errand girl". Piper was different. Alex liked her, a lot. Her company was pleasant, she was easy to be around. With Piper, there wasn't an act. There wasn't anything. From the start, Alex was herself becuase she didn't have to pretend, and neither did Piper. They were doctor and patient, and they kept their distance, until, until finally, Piper let everything slip.

Their kiss was startling, sudden, wonderful. Their kiss well Piper's kiss was genuine, real, and there was a desperation in her touches and gasps. An urgency to break free from this prison she had built around herself. From an early age, Piper had been groomed to become this successful, educated doctor with a husband-to-be, and the potential of children on the way. A simple life. But, her innocence, her hesitation, her suspicions proved to Alex she wanted adventure, a little danger. And Alex was addicted to all of that, it excited her. Made her smile and made her heart flutter.

She was perfect.

Perfect for her. Piper could not be more imperfect, but Alex liked those flaws, those irritating traits. She was annoyed Piper walked out on her after discovering she was still seeing someone, and she was annoyed at Piper for initiating everything between them, and then leaving her. Piper was the girl who hurried after danger, and then ran far away when it got too much. Having an affair with a patient was one thing, but cheating on her fiancé was another.

"... I love Larry..."

It wasn't a one-night stand. Alex knew what one-night stands were like, knew the slight shame afterwards, the enthusiasm to erase the memory altogether. That time with Piper had been different, though. Alex couldn't forget. It meant something. It hadn't been the alcohol. It had been them, and that was fucking terrifying. Because it had never been them when Alex was with somebody else. Not really. Usually, she saw no plans with anyone. Just saw what was before her.

Yet, with Piper she had plans. Many plans.

"... I choose Larry..."

And it was ridiculous. Stupid. So, so, so stupid. Alex's pride had been damaged severely, but it wasn't that which bothered her. Approaching Piper had been silly because she knew Piper would reject her. She knew Piper would choose the boyfriend because, heck, why wouldn't she? Larry was safe, Larry was protected, Larry was stable and Larry was the life she had been taught to accept. Alex was anything but safe. Alex was danger, and Alex was not stable.