I must admit that I find these dating apps to be quite unsatisfactory.
There are guys who engage in deceptive and manipulative behavior, using charm as a means to attain their ultimate goal: sexual encounters.
Lisa has unfortunately experienced this firsthand over the past few months, although it seems to align with her desires.
Personally, I could never do that.
To clarify, there are certainly pleasant individuals present on these platforms; however, they simply do not align with my personal preferences - much like this so-called Jjk who falls into this category.
We've been in conversation for about a month now, but he hasn't made any plans to meet up yet.
I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not as interested in him either since I haven't initiated anything myself. It's strange though because he consistently reaches out and seems genuinely engaged in our conversations, asking about my day and sharing his own experiences.
All I know is his name, which happens to be quite common in this country - Jeon Jungkook.
"Y/n, he seems like a genuinely kind person! Unlike others, he hasn't made any unusual requests. You enjoy endless conversations without getting bored," my mom remarks during our phone call.
"I know, Mom. However, it's been over a month of talking and he still hasn't asked me out yet! I understand that I shouldn't be here to play games, but even just talking on the phone without seeing his face feels uncertain," I confess.
Indeed, there is no picture of him on his profile which leaves me questioning his authenticity. The only visible details are his toned back, long hair, and some tattoos on his arm."
"He also recently started with some kind of flirting, which I kind of like, but that's the problem! The thing that I'm starting to like his attention" I tell her, actually worried.
It takes me a long time usually to get attached to people, his invisible presence though makes me feel at ease, he's here even tho he's not here.
"Oh really?" my mum asks more excited than I am "For example, what does he say?"
"I explained to him how here I feel like an alien in an unfamiliar place, where everything is different and strange, and how actually people look at me as if I'm an alien" I explain, she just hums, her eyes disappearing as she smiles in anticipation "he laughed and from that moment on he started calling me 'HIS little alien'"
"AAAAAAAAA really??!!!" I swear, my mum is like a teenage girl when she reacts this way.
"It's not a good thing mum! we've been talking for a bit more than one month, it's too early"
"Y/n, it's not early, me and your dad started flirting way earlier than a month after we met"
"EWWWWWW I DIDN'T WANNA KNOW THAT"
As the days went by, a sense of anticipation and affection continued to grow within me. It's an indescribable mix of joy and enthusiasm that rushes through me whenever I receive a message from him.
The very thought of our eventual meeting fills my heart with both nervous excitement and sincere eagerness to let my true self shine.
His charming words, whispered in the most gentle tone imaginable, become real as they reach my ears.
His honey-low voice that I had only dreamt about holds a power over me, unlike anything I have ever experienced before.
Every part of me is tingling with exhilaration and tension; it's remarkable how deeply interested I am in someone whose face remains unseen.
When he lovingly refers to me as his "little alien," a wave of serenity washes over me, evoking feelings of femininity and security.
It brings immense comfort knowing there is someone who genuinely cares for me in such an affectionate manner.
In fact, inspired by this newfound connection, I made the decision to delete all other apps so we could exclusively communicate on social media platforms
But why hasn't he asked me out yet?
This uncertainty brings about a sense of unease and anxiety that weighs heavily on me, leaving me with an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach, drying up my throat and leaving me with a sense of unease.
Additionally, it prompts me to question the true nature of our connection and whether there is something more at play here.
and why haven't I asked him out?
As this realization dawns upon me, a wave of apprehension washes over me - a lingering sense that there may be potential consequences or negative outcomes associated with such actions.
I have a bad feeling that something bad is soon to happen.
These challenging emotions have allowed me to reflect on certain details that previously escaped my notice, as I was deeply engrossed in envisioning our future together.
Recently, there seems to have been a noticeable change in his behavior. He hasn't shown much interest in discussing my day or engaging in casual conversations like before.
Instead, he often comes up with excuses for his absence and abruptly ends our interactions.
Lately, he has been noticeably more distant and no longer refers to me using endearing terms.
My mind incessantly reminds me of those few instances when he affectionately called me by such names, leading me to believe it was a regular occurrence.
However, upon hastily checking our chat history with trembling hands, I discover just three instances where he referred to me in this way.
I now feel remorseful for deceiving myself into thinking it happened every day.
Without realizing a tear left my eyes.
