and we fell

Chapter 30

ALEC

We're in the bedroom and I'm playing with her hair lost in thoughts. Foxy is texting with her best friend, the redhead whose name is Nini, telling her all about our holiday so far. As she finishes and places her phone on the night table, she opens the TV. The channel we're on is screening a documentary about Cordelia. Foxy starts laughing as she sees a picture of her country on the screen, so do I.

"Want to watch it?" she asks me amused. I shake with my shoulders and stop playing with her hair. She turns up the volume and leans on me, with her head on my chest. I retake a strand of her hair and play with it.

Foxy comments a lot during the documentary. Apparently, the guy who did it didn't do such a good job.

"He said our national dance is the Foxtrot, but it's actually the waltz. Given Cordelia's connection with the monarchy, the people started dancing waltz in their free time. Now, we have waltz clubs all around the place."

I look at her wanting to back her up, so I hiss: "Asshole" at the man. She chuckles.

Apart from the mistakes in the documentary, she seems to enjoy it. Until it reaches the part when it starts talking about the royal family. Since then, she tenses. To calm her down, I turn it off and she looks at me thankfully.

She's silent for a few minutes. Still lost in thoughts. It takes a while before she whispers: "It's not that I don't like being royalty. I just don't like the way everyone seems to know everything about us, when in fact they know nothing."

I nod at her encouraging, then ask: "What should I know about you?"

"That I love you." she's quick to answer. I respond to the urge and bend down to kiss her. She pulls me closer and we lock lips for a while. However, that can't be our activity now. She's hurting.

"About your family, I mean. What should I know about you?" I repeat, taking some distance but still holding her in a hug, to make her understand I'm here for her. She takes a deep breath and begins explaining:

"My Mother and Father hate each other. It's because of how Father cheated on Mother with Gillian. The woman lives with Father now in his wing, and Mother paints sad stuff in her wing. My brother has been my best friend growing up. He's always been the one to encourage me to keep going. Yet, sometimes, it didn't work."

"What do you mean?" I ask her worried. She starts shaking and doesn't seem to want to answer to my question. She does it however:

"When I was fifteen, soon after Gillian moved in with us and my world collapsed, I started feeling like I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to run away. So, I did. I almost reached a boat, bound to take me to France. Someone stopped me, however. Darrel. Who had been my bodyguard then as well. He convinced me to stay, talking about how my people need me. Since then, I live for perfection. My kingdom deserves nothing else."

I hadn't ever thought she wanted to run away once. And with fifteen. I felt sorry that I couldn't be there for her and help her through everything. I felt sorry we hadn't met yet at the time. Because deep down I'm sure, that it wouldn't matter when we two would meet, I will always fall in love with her. She's the only one who speaks to my heart.

"I'm sorry, Foxy. I really am." I reply. She nods thankfully and I kiss her once. After I let go, I continue asking her: "Do you still want to run away now?"

"No," she answers honest. "I don't anymore. I found that one thing I want to hold on to. I found you."

I pull her closer to me and begin kissing her to make her understand how glad I am and how many times I thank the universe I found her as well.

"Can I be the one who holds on to you?" I ask whispering. She nods agreeing with a nervous smile and a tear on her face. I wipe out her tear and kiss the spot it used to be on, to force the pain away.

After a while, I want to lighten up the mood, so I ask teasing: "You know what I've never heard you say? I've never heard you ordering around."

"You haven't." she asks chuckling. My heart is back whole as I see her happy again. She continues: "That's a shame. I order around all the time."

"Well, I haven't heard you. You're the princess. I'm your most loyal subject. Your words are my command, Foxy. I'll obey."

She looks a bit skeptical at me yet decides to play along.

"Kneel to me." she says. Her voice sounds different. More powerful. More self-confident. Anyone who dares to touch her might end up dead. It's then I realize it. She doesn't just wear a crown. She is the crown. And her words are the law.

I do as she said and Foxy puts a mischievous grin on. I am still on my knees as she comes next to me and says: "Kiss me."

Again, I obey, lifting myself back up to meet her lips. I give her a hungry kiss, showing how much, I want her. She looks pleased and gives out a last command.

"Close the lights."

I stop and look at her worried. She has never wanted that before. We've talked about it and she wanted to wait. I respected her decision and gave her the chance to take her time. As tempting as it sounds, I am not doing it.

"You haven't thought this through, Foxy." I whisper. She looks a bit offended.

"I have. I want this."

"But you've never..." I go on protesting. She interrupts me.

"I have."

I look at her confused, but she doesn't want to give me more details.

"Are you sure you want this?" I ask again. She nods and kisses my lips.

"I want this."

I nod understanding, not knowing what to do. Foxy goes back to commanding me.

"Now, close the lights."

And for once, I feel the happiest to be her most loyal subject and do as told.