chapter twelve
I continued to stare at the body of the young lovers, there once happy faces now cold and emotionless.
"You must go then." My ears perked up, my eyes narrowing before I turned around. "What do you mean?" I approached my father, my eyes still narrow. "I mean they must take their son and go back home. I will not let my people suffer more." My father glared at me but I'm not a kid anymore, i won't just listen when he wants me to, not anymore. "No, no!" I stepped between the two sets of lovers. "I just got him back, maybe he's not awake but i have him back and you won't just take him away from me again." I could see the disappointment in my fathers face but i really didn't care. I want to keep my people safe but i won't lose Teyam in it all.
I won't lose either.
I sighed, it was all a mess right now but we needed to figure it out one at a time. "Let's get the two inside, prepare them for the funeral." Two of my people pulled away the parents and three others picked up the kids.
"Let's talk later."
•••
I could feel Neytiri practically burning holes into my head, her stare was always so piercing. "What is it?" I sighed, my hands continued cutting the fish. "What will you do?" I looked to her, what did she mean? It's what will she do? Will she take Teyam and leave back to the forest, will they stay?
"We're not staying." She says.
"Why not?" I hiss.
"Because we're putting your people at risk! It's not a debate, we're not staying." I didn't even have the strength to argue back. She was right but I don't want to lose him again.
"Aonung, we were never gonna stay. Neither was he." And she's right again. I don't like that she's always right. Jake must get his ego bruised a lot. "Then I'll go with you. I'll adapt to the forest." I said, chopping the fish faster. "Your to be olo'eyktan, you can't just leave that duty." I wasn't just dropping it, I was choosing a path. A person over a right of passage.
"You have been training for this your whole life." Neytiri sat closer to me, grabbing the knife away. "I know you love him but this is a big decision." I thought of it all. Being the leader, protecting my people, being olo'eyktan. But then I thought of him, his laugh, smile, the fact that he's brought me more joy than anything or anyone. What's the point of choosing olo'eyktan if I won't even enjoy the role.
I couldn't stop smiling at him. It was extremely stupid. All he was doing is laying there. And all I could do was stare and smile like an idiot. It's like really stupid and pathetic but I couldn't stop.
"Creepooooo!" Teyam said, his eyes closed as he dragged the 'o' in the word. "You are awake!" I jumped over him, straddling him as he rubbed his eyes. "Yes, well I am now." He chuckled, I could feel my tail swooshing back and forth with excitement. He's been asleep for hours, I got bored. "What?" He laughed, me hovering over him. "I'm bored so come on! Get up!" Instead of getting up he grinned as he flopped his body to the swaynivi. Of course he's gonna make me drag him instead of just making this easy. "I hate you." I sigh before picking his up over him shoulder.
"Whatever you say fish-lips."
I stood up, there was no thought in this. I was choosing him. Why would I choose olo'eyktan if it meant I was gonna be miserable? It would be stupid. Neytiri chose Jake over being Tsahik, I know my mother or father would choose each other over it all. So why is it a problem for me to do it? My parents told me the most amazing feeling a Navi can feel is choosing the right person and having a family of your own. Why choose a path that would lead me to none of that?
I felt a strong grasp get ahold of my arms as I stormed out the Mauri with a mission. "Ao'nung you must think about this!" What was there to think about? Think about waisting my time with a decision I've already chosen? "Aonung the forest is not something to adapt to easily. You'll never feel at home there." I know she cared for me but my mind was made up.
"Adapting to his death wasn't easy either, which one do you think is better?" I sent her a piercing stare, pulling my arm from her grasp. "I will not just let him go like that, not again, not ever." I could see a mix of emotions going through Neytiri, her big yellow eyes looking as sad and confused as a baby. She put her hands on my shoulders and nodded her head. "Go, go!" I gave her a kiss to the cheek before running to find my parents and tell them my decision.
I felt my feet move but my head was stuck on what the future held. Would he ever wake up? Will my parents never want to see me again? I just want it all to be okay in the end. I need it to all be okay in the end.
