I am Here

Chapter 7 Courting

Wei Ying woke up first. This almost never happens. He looks at his husband, really looks at him. In sleep his face is angelic. His jawline is strong and sharp. His nose aquiline. His skin is clear and smooth and the color of white jade. His long lashes slightly moved as if they were tiny wings against his cheeks. When they are alone his face shows only innocence, gentleness and a quiet strength.

To the world he was the great Hanguang-jun cold, arrogant and unyielding. But with him he was the total opposite. Wei Ying placed his ear on Lan Zhan's chest to listen to his heartbeat. It was strong, steady and sure just like the man.

He knows he is blessed to have him in his life but a part of him is still scared. Can he truly keep him? Will he always belong to only me or will he tire of me? Will he wait for me to break free from the darkness and pain that binds me so that I will truly be free to love my husband and have a future filled only with happiness and love?

As if knowing Wei Ying's thoughts, Lan Zhan simply holds him tighter. "I am here, I will always be here with you and for you."

Wei Ying looks at Lan Zhan through his tears. He simply nods for he cannot speak without falling apart. Lan Zhan lifts his beloved up so that they are touching foreheads. "When you are ready my love I will listen. You are not alone."

Wei Ying grips Lan Zhan tighter but says nothing. Lan Zhan knows he still needs time. Time to grapple with his past and feel comfortable enough to tell him. This he can do. He will keep him safe and happy until he is ready. He will wait patiently. He's already waited so long for him, what's a little more time.

He softly kisses Wei Ying's lips to stop them from trembling. He softly hums their song while gently rubbing circles on his back to stop his trembling. Soon his soft snoring is heard, Wei Ying has fallen asleep in his arms. Lan Zhan lovingly whispers to him "You are my world, I cannot be where you are not, I will never let you go. Wherever you go I will follow even unto death. You are stuck with me, my love. Lan Zhan snuggles deeper into the bed taking his lover with him. Wei Ying shifts closer and finally a tiny smile appears on his lips. Lan Zhan brushes his thumb across Wei Ying's lips and he smiles also. Suddenly Wei Ying shifts his body so he is literally draped across Lan Zhan effectively trapping him. He now deems himself comfortable and goes into a deep sleep. Lan Zhan smiles again and holds his husband in place and he follows into sleep.

He hopes this journey to healing has begun, he prays to whoever is listening to help them to heal and find true happiness.

Over the next several weeks the time was spent rediscovering each other and falling more and more in love with each other. Wei Ying was learning to trust more and feel safe and comfortable in Lan Zhan's strong arms. Lan Zhan was more patient, loving, and caring. Wei Ying became a lot happier and his teasing self came back. Lan Zhan laughed and smiled more, no longer the cold jade.

As they began to heal they began to feel hopeful and happier. They would lie in bed for hours talking, cuddling and kissing. They would play in the river (really Wei Ying plays in the water while Lan Zhan looks on), or they would take a small boat and float down the river and stop whenever they felt like it. They took to walking along the riverbank in the evening while holding hands. Sometimes they would stop and play the flute and the gugin bringing a magical feel to the evening. People would hear the haunting music but it did not bring the feeling of fear with it, only the feeling of being loved or being in love.

They started visiting other towns but always came back to the Lotus Inn in Caiyi town. As it felt more like home to them. One day while visiting a small village they discovered they were having a festival celebrating love and marriage. Everywhere they looked they saw red and gold decorations. They saw shops selling flowers, wine, sweets and a beautifully decorated shop that sold trinkets and gifts for your special loved one. But what really caught their attention was a large tree in the town square.

This was a special tree. The townspeople claimed it was planted by an immortal a very long time ago. Its branches grow downwards instead of up as if to hug you. Its leaves were heart shaped and slightly red. It was said that whoever kissed under the tree branches and proclaimed their love to each other they would stay in love with each other forever. Eventually it became the townspeople's tradition to marry underneath this tree instead of a temple as it had more meaning to them. Of course Wei Ying and Lan Zhan wanted to visit the tree, however it was very crowded there at the moment. So Lan Zhan suggested they would come back later and visit the tree even if it meant they had to spend the night in the town to get their turn. So with that promise Wei Ying was content to see the rest of the town and constantly stopped whenever something caught his eye. His ever vigilant husband kept his money purse handy in case it was needed.

Eventually Wei Ying found a group of children playing a game and proceeding to play with them. Seeing his husband completely carefree and content was priceless to Lan Zhan, he was happy to just watch him.

What Lan Zhan didn't know was that he and his husband were being watched as well. Someone who meant no harm but still .... The person watching saw two stunningly beautiful men. One ice and the other fire. One cold, stoic and the other wild and carefree. He knew them to be cultivators by their dress and manners. Every now and again the cold one would have a sliver of a smile but only for the wild one. He thought to himself "Something about the cultivator in white is so familiar but he can't place it. At his age he has forgotten more than he can remember." He continues to observe them.

He was very interested in them and wondered about them. As they were different from the type of men coming to their village, even during festival time. This man was old and had seen much through his old eyes. Nothing much really got past him. He was a bookstore owner who had once roamed the world until he fell in love with someone here and never left. He was now alone and very much missed his partner. If he's reading these two right his guess is these two young men are partners as well. Memories came flooding back about his beautiful and loving partner.

He wished they could have been braver as these two young men, living openly but his partner was not brave enough to leave this village so here they stayed. He's now buried not far from the village and he visits everyday but he's so tired and only wants to follow his partner but heaven won't listen to his prayers. He wipes his tears with his sleeve and shuffles slowly back into the shop.

On impulse he walks all the way to the back of the shop where a chest is located covered in layers of dust from over the years.