65 ❀ Pollenated souls, Starved mind

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POLLENATED SOULS, STARVEDMIND

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POLLENATED
SOULS, STARVED
MIND

00:65
November 5

**✿❀ ❀✿**

"YOU DON'T GET IT! YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN how those bitchy mothers treated me!" Sadie held her head as she sobbed; Finn ran his hands down Sadie's arm— she was soft.

For the past few weeks, Sadie went above on her beauty, from making sure every part of her body was smooth. Maybe to hide the fact that inside, she was building up rage, keeping quiet on the outside. "Baby, hey. You don't have to go there again if you don't want to; I'm sorry for leaving you alone with them."

He'd try to comfort her as she sprang into the episode. But it was... never enough. "I feel like I'm hurting you whenever I get like this. Am I too much?" Sadie croaked, lifting her head at him.

Her ginger hair was messy, some sticking to the part of her cheeks littered with tears. She sat close to his body as Finn hugged her, "You'll never know how it feels, never feel good enough to feel like you're too much."

Finn's heart hurt beyond words. Sadie hid her face in her hands, "It feels like I always have to fight for you; I shouldn't have to... We're married, Finn. And I feel you pulling away." Her dying words killed her as her face twisted in anger.

"Why can't it be me?! Why can't it be me that's being fought for once?" Sadie held onto his collar, gripping him hard enough so they were only mere inches. "I'll never be your first choice, will I? It's always going to be someone in front of me."

He was shocked into silence; Finn couldn't muster up any words because even though she was wrong, it felt impossible to object to her belief. "You know... before you and Y/n broke up in high school—"

"It was always me; it was always me falling for someone and who I thought they were. The second anyone gave me affection, I took it the wrong way... I would think just maybe; maybe they liked me too."

Sadie lifted her head wearily up at him, curious of what was going on behind his brown eyes— behind the one she loved. "I would think they were some hero that would save me, but..." Sadie wiped her eyes, only making it worse as she fell back into herself.

"The conversation was always the same; they would apologize for not feeling the same. I thought... I thought maybe I would be your first choice now." The PTA moms were the final straw of her built-up rage and hurt, spouting things as though they knew men like Finn— men who weren't in a committed relationship.

Finn held her face, running his finger on his skin. "You're my first choice." The people-pleaser in his heart ran strong; the need to be the hero and the savior— it's what strung their love together like a knotted rope.

"But for how long? How long until we have that conversation?" He furrowed his brows in confusion. "How long until you apologize for shit just happening? For not being able to control your feelings, hm?"

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