Ao'nung x Neteyam slow burn

Day 70 Part 3

Kiri

"I'm becoming a father", Ao'nung said before he began laughing. "Well, Beyral is pregnant and with Neteyam I want to adopt it. Because she doesn't want to raise the child."
Nobody said anything for a few endless seconds.
"Uh, it's mine, of course."

I waited for any kind of reaction from our or their parents and after a good while, mom said something that did not surprise me in any way:
"Sits fine with me. And of course I will support you wherever I can." She absolutely adored children. How could she've said no?

But nonetheless, it was driving me crazy just laying around all day.
But ever since my... meeting with Eywa and since I've brought back Neteyam I didn't quite regain the control over my own body. And I was barely able to move - even sitting up wasn't anywhere near possible for me right now.

The sea gives and the sea takes.

It'd given a life - but taken almost everything away from me. Sure, it was absolutely fair because everything has its price and I was willing to pay it, but it was so damn hard. Not only for me, but also for Tuk. She'd been sleeping next to me in my bed since I've woken up. I could hardly imagine how devastating it must've been for her to watch her big brother, her hero, almost die twice and me becoming an absolute cripple.

My only highlight I was looking forward to every day was Rotxo. He spent most of his time with me and he almost made me feel normal again. As if that situation wasn't the end of the world.
My chest was burning as I thought about him. But I was sure that I was definitely not in love with hin. He was my friend, nothing more.
Speaking of which, he just climbed through my window into my room. "Good morning, Eywa'ita." With a sincere smile I rolled my eyes. "You won't believe what I just heard."
He sat down next to me and didn't take his eyes off of me. "Tell me everything."
"But you have to promise not to tell anyone that I told you this, alright?"
"I promise, but please just tell me", he urged. Our shoulders were touching just a tiny bit, but it was enough to send a shiver down my spine.
"Tsireya's expecting a baby. And Ao'nung is going to adopt the child from this girl called Beyral. You know her?"
He grimaced. "Beyral? You sure? But why on Pandora would he..." He seemed to understand.
"Oh."

"How are you?", he finally asked, his voice as soft as always. "Good" was all I could answer. How would I even explain to him what I was going through?
"What I meant was: How are you actually feeling?"
I took a deep breath.
"All of this is driving me real crazy. Bringing my brother back was easily the most exhausting thing I will ever do. My body doesn't obey me anymore. I can't even move properly and if I manage to do so, it hurts so damn much. Eywa'd told me that it would hurt, but I thought that she only meant the mere process of resurrecting Neteyam and not everything else too. I wish I could be with my family all day. And I mean actually be there. Sitting and being in full control of the motions of my body. I know that everyone thinks I am some kind of hero or something like that, but it's really breaking me. The connection to my mother is beautiful and breathtaking, but it's horrible at the same time. I can feel her every minute, every second of every day and sometimes I can even hear her, whether I like it or not. For everyone I'm just that girl that has a connection to Eywa. I feel like nobody cares about who I truly am. Just me. And I should be damn happy right now because I have my brother back and everything is just the way it's supposed to be, but I miss my home. And I miss Spider."

My vision was blurry because of the tears which were on the verge of rolling down my cheeks. But it felt so good to have let all of this out.
Rotxo took ny hand gently.
"I care about you. About who you are. And I'm sure that everyone in your family does too. You're going to meet Spider again one day, y'know? He's with Eywa now and he'll wait there with her for you, I'm sure of that." He seemed sad and I noticed - no, I felt - that I'd hurt his feelings.
This enlightening - that I'd hurt him and that I felt him the same way I'd felt Neteyam made me sob quietly.
At Neteyams funeral I'd been able to feel anything and everything surrounding me, bud I'd never imagined that I was still able to (or, well, had to) do this.
He put one of his so soft hands on my cheek and looked me deep in my eyes. "Is it something I've said?" The tears were just silently making their way down my face, but he wiped them away with his thumb.
"N-no... It's just... everything is so much. Its too much for me, to be exact. I can literally feel that I've hurt you. And I wish that I didn't have to. Your emotions are none of my business as long as you don't want to tell me how you feel."
Rotxo just smiled, relieved and relaxing now." Kiri. You're the only one where I couldn't care less. I have nothing to hide and if you can feel me, then thats okay for me. Of course I'm sorry that you have to. But I think you already know that. "
I couldn't even finf the words to express how thankful I was to have him in my life.
"Hug?" He nodded and then pulled me closer.
I took a deep breath to calm myself and couldn't help but notice that he smelled really good. I'd never acknowledged that before, but I hadn't quite paid attention to that. Soon, the tears stopped coming, but he still didn't let go of me. And if was good.

"Rotxo?"
"Hmm?"
"Could you maybe... feel a bit more quiet? It's really difficult listening non-stop to how much you like me." Embarrassed he let go of me and looked away. "I'm so sorry. But I -" "You don't have to be sorry. And you should never ever apologize for how you feel. I mean I should rather apologize because I don't feel the same way."
The boy nodded.
"That's okay. I can wait. And if it's necessary, I'll wait the rest of my life for you. I don't mind. But it's you who I want right by my side."

I blushed, hard. He was just so pure and sweet and nice. But I sadly just saw him as my best friend. And as much as it's sweet how he feels, I doubted that I could ever be something more to him than just a friend.
Maybe - but just maybe - if I really opened myself to it and gave this - us - a chance. But, worst case scenario, we fight and break up and I would lose my best friend.
Furthermore, I wasn't sure if this weird new understanding of him would be useful.