Fateful beginning of vacations

Chapter 20: A short nighttime interlude

Bricks? Why bricks? What was an accurately built brick wall doing in the place of her window, Sarah wondered. At the same moment, she realized that this must be another dream. The locked door, the wet diaper and the brick wall left no other conclusions. Something her subconscious was trying to tell her again. She just couldn't imagine what. Her other self hadn't been able to contact her either. Sarah looked around her room. Except for the brick wall that replaced her window, everything seemed the same. She grabbed her chair, sat down, leaned back in the chair, and closed her eyes. Sarah tried to gather her thoughts and analyze her situation.

"Okay." she said to herself. "Apparently I'm daydreaming again and this time I can't get to the solution so easily. How did I get out last time?" she asked herself aloud. The voice in the back of her mind she silently answered herself. But this time it didn't come and what it had told her didn't work. Maybe this dream wasn't supposed to end in a confrontation with her inner self at all, Sarah reasoned. But what else did it aim at. She thought again about the last dreams.

In the first one, she had woken up in a twisted world where she had to wear diapers because she wet the bed, and her school performance was anything but exhilarating. She had woken up from this twisted world quite quickly. What struck her in comparison to her current dream was the fact that the place was the same and, that in both dreams she was wearing a diaper and in both dreams it had been used. In the second dream she had a brief discussion with her father. About her wetting the bed and also wetting her pants during the day. Everything else of the dream was the discussion with her other self. In summary, both dreams seemed to be related, but they didn't get her anywhere here. An idea suddenly occurred to her.

Sarah got up and went to her actual window again. She looked at the brick wall for a moment and then pulled her curtains back over the brick wall. She went inside herself for a moment and imagined her window and then pulled the curtains back again. The bricks were gone and her window was back. Apparently she had the ability to influence her dream by a little concentration. What that should bring her in this dream was not yet clear to her, however. Her next target was clear, the door. Sarah went to the door and concentrated briefly on the door, thinking about how to open it. She pushed the handle of the door down.

Kathi still lay awake in bed and turned from one side to the other. She wondered if Sarah was doing well. The last two days had probably not been easy for her, but nevertheless, at first glance, she had come to terms well with the subject of diapers and everything she had told her. But her absence in the afternoon alone showed that there had to be something bubbling inside her. She was probably at that famous point of accepting everything or loathing everything. What exactly she would do was uncertain. Kathi wondered if there was anything she could have done to help her. She had talked in front of her aunt. It was still visibly unpleasant for Kathi that it had come to this, but in the end it had turned out to be positive for her as well. She could go about her business without any problems, just like at home. Sarah also had an advantage, no matter how she would behave on the subject of diapers, her mother would have no problems with it. That made coming out unnecessary. All she could continue to do was talk to Sarah about the whole issue. She turned to the other side once again. She felt like she was already starting to think like Sarah. In a perpetual loop. Maybe she should get up again and go into the next room to talk to Sarah. After an almost eternal for and against she finally decided against it and turned back and forth a few more times until she finally fell asleep.

With a slight squeak, the door actually opened. Sarah was still amazed that she could influence her dream simply by thinking about it. But then why had she not succeeded in making her other self appear. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to concentrate on her other self again. She saw it in front of her like the last time. She opened her eyes and finally saw...nothing. Her other self remained missing. Maybe she would find her other self somewhere in the rest of the house. Her first destination the kitchen, the place of their first meeting. Sarah crept quietly down the hall, not knowing why she was really creeping. She didn't know if she was afraid that some monsters from the other rooms would attack her, but she didn't want to think about it for too long, who knew what would happen if she did. After what felt like an eternity on tiptoe, she finally reached the kitchen. Sarah turned on the light. Suddenly the kitchen shone in the usual light. Everything was here as always. No other me, no conspicuousness. Sarah looked at the clock. It showed 3:00 o'clock. Wait a minute, she thought to herself. My cell phone showed 6:00, she suddenly thought to herself. "What actually happens when I...." she said out loud to herself. "...just that." suddenly added an all too familiar voice.

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. She opened her eyes and still stared at the clock. Now it showed 8:00 p.m. The time of the last meeting with her other self. It had appeared. The voice that had sounded moments before belonged to the little girl who now sat smoking at the kitchen table, apparently waiting for Sarah to join her and engage with her again.

"Before you ask," young Sarah began. "I asked for it."

Sarah could guess what she meant, the roundabout way of meeting in the kitchen.

"And why would I "do" that to myself?" she asked her young counterpart.

"For once, I don't want to be like last time. You seem to be a step ahead, at least when I look at your clothes. Maybe I should get a different outfit too what do you say?" she asked back without really answering the question.

"Um...wouldn't I have to picture you differently for that?" asked Sarah to her likeness.

"Yes, you would have to. But maybe there's a reason why I appear as a smoking nine year old?" she asked back again.

Sarah tried to make sense of it. Suddenly she had an idea why her inner self appeared to her like that.