Fateful beginning of vacations

Chapter 29: Insane Dreams

Late evening turned into early night, early night into early morning as the round of the three girls finally disbanded. 4:00 AM. Everyone was plenty overtired. Sarah realized again that she was definitely missing restful sleep. If only it weren't for these almost insane dreams. How much longer would she be tormented by herself? When would this finally stop, would it stop at all? Her dreams had now already led to an accident. Was this a coincidence? Or was she subconsciously turning into the Sarah from her dream? Was the dream Sarah closer to reality than the real Sarah after all? Questions over questions were again in her head and once again she knew that she would not find any answers. At least not now, not directly.

Sandra had gone to Sarah's place for a reason. Sarah was not bothered by it. She somehow preferred to spend the night alone in her room. Who knew what the depths of her self held in store for her again. Did she even want to know, did she even want to sleep? She knew she couldn't stay awake forever, at some point sleep would overtake her and she would have to face her inner ghosts. Not a very nice idea as she had to realize. She had to put an end to this somehow, otherwise she wouldn't be able to spend a quiet night in the future. What was she aiming at herself? She had already rebelled against the part of herself she didn't want. That alone didn't seem to work. She had to keep playing the sick game of antisocial Sarah. In her dreams, this little beast apparently had unlimited power. Well, actually, another part of herself had the unlimited power. It had to be possible that she herself, as she wanted to be, could also attain this power and silence this little beast once and for all. But how? She thought about how this could be done, and finally she fell asleep.

Sarah startled up again. She knew she had fallen asleep. By now she was ready for anything. Could she even be sure that she was in a dream? There didn't seem to be a really sure way to do this. Concentration on something specific, as she had been taught by the little despicable brat, would not work. She would know how to prevent it. She grabbed her crotch for a moment. Ok she was wearing a diaper, that wasn't a meaningful criterion either. What else had been easy when her dreams just incorporated some nonsensical things. Bricks instead of windows. Back then, the thought struck her as if it had been decades ago, yet all of this had happened this week. A journey through madness through light and darkness suddenly came to her mind. She sat down on her desk chair and turned a little back and forth, as she often did when she thought. Why should she act any differently now than she usually did. It would only give the little brat more ammunition, she thought to herself. She thought again of light and darkness. The dark side in herself she had apparently already met enough, but the bright side, which represented the light, the positive, that had to be somewhere. But where? So far, only this snotty brat had appeared to her. Where was the other Sarah, she had to exist too. Somewhere deep inside her, there had to be the Sarah who was slowly eating her way through the hard shell of the antisocial in the real world. But where was she.

Sarah closed her eyes and continued to turn back and forth, thinking about the last dreams. She still couldn't make sense of them, but there had to be a common thread somewhere. In her mind's eye, she reviewed the first dream. In retrospect, it now seemed to her more like a glorified premonition of the actual events. This was definitely not true of the other dreams. There were no events there that could have even remotely represented any kind of foreshadowing. "Alright, maybe I shouldn't compare the entire dreams but just see which aspects repeat?" she said them herself. She stopped the chair when it was right in front of her desk. She moved a little closer to the desk and grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper. "At least I have this handy in my dreams, too," Sarah thought to herself. She thought it would make more sense to write down all the parallels of the dreams. She hastily scribbled a table with a column for each dream on that sheet. She thought about it for a moment. Diapers actually appeared in each of the dreams. So in each column once the word diaper. Sarah continued to think. That was all she could think of right away. She had the feeling of staring at the sheet for an eternity and not finding any more similarities. She leaned back, but no other commonality would come to her mind. "Oh damn. Another dead end." she said to herself into the room. Another thought had just occurred to her when it was abruptly interrupted by what must have been a familiar giggle.