Eunoia • Book Two

I'll Be Alright, Right?

It's 5:12 pm, and I'm thinking about a lot of things right now.

I'm tired, like so tired. I tried sleeping but it didn't really work out, plus I have homework. So, here I am, sitting, thinking and writing, about maybe things. I'm thinking about the happy memories and moments I've made and have with some people, but when I take a look back at it all, it turns into a nightmare when I'm awake.

It's like everything's turned to negativity, the what ifs drown my mind, and my thoughts turns into an ocean polluted by bad.

'What if they were just pretending to care?'

'What if they had no choice but to stand you?'

And then the worst one,

'What if you were born to only inflict pain on others?'

Sometimes, I actually believe it.

I'm thinking about a lot of things right now. About my family, my best friends, him, school and life. What if you all just put up to me and can't really stand me being around you? The same way I just can't stand two people.

Pretending is such a cruel yet well-played façade that is mastered by many people. People I've trusted, people I've loved.

What if that's what everyone's trying to do?

Pretend to be happy around me and not look at me in disgust like they want to do? I try to rid those thoughts, but sometimes, it's impossible. But you know what, I'll be alright.

I'll be alright, right?