What I Should Have Said

12

Elizabeth nervously looked at herself in the mirror second guessing her outfit. She didn't know why she cared so much, it was just dinner. Alexander entered the room and saw her staring at herself in the mirror. She looked absolutely stunning in her cream-colored turtleneck top and high-waisted pleated pants. "And where are you going looking like that?" Alex slightly smirked and leaned against the door frame. Elizabeth looked over at him and faintly smiled. "Dinner." She said as she put on her coat.

"Dinner?" He questioned.

"An old friend is in town and invited me out to dinner so I'm going out." She explained.

"What old friend?" He asked.

Elizabeth hesitated," I don't think I can really say."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm trying to respect their privacy and I don't think they want anyone knowing they're here." She explained.

"Are you cheating on me?" He questioned. She wasn't sure if that was his lame attempt at a joke or if he was serious. "It's just dinner with my friend she wanted to catch up." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Oh...so it's a woman?" He asked. Elizabeth nodded and grabbed her purse, ready to leave and go meet Taylor for dinner. "Okay, at least I know I have nothing to worry about now." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Have fun."

She looked over at him confused, " Wait...Why would you say that?"

"Say what?" He asked.

"That you have nothing to worry about?" She questioned.

He chuckled, "You're just going to dinner with one of your girlfriends at least it's not some ex-boyfriend."

She faintly smiled, "Right."

"Have fun, call if you had too many and need a ride." He said as she made her way out. It felt like the guilt was eating at her the entire day thinking about dinner with Taylor. She didn't know how she was going to explain it to Alex, yet he didn't seem to think much of it anyways. She didn't know if it was some sort of godsend that he didn't care to question her after he heard the person she was going to see was another woman or if she should be worried that he didn't seem to care enough.

----

Taylor waited in a booth at the back of a restaurant in the city. She stirred her drink around and nervously bounced her leg waiting on Elizabeth. It had been 20 years. Yet Betty never left her mind. She struggled in and out of relationships with men, struggled with being forced into fake relationships, and struggled to have any kind of relationship with women she met and befriended. But in every situation, her mind always went back to Betty. Always wondering what she was up to. If she lived in the same place, if she was married with a family...if she still missed her too.

Nashville was a little easier than Pennsylvania was. She made more friends when she moved and her parents did everything to help her start her career and she finally did it. As hurt as she was about everything that happened, she couldn't help but miss Elizabeth. She tried to find love again hoping every new lover would be the one. But none of them were Betty. She didn't know what she was doing asking her out to dinner, she didn't understand what she wanted. Maybe deep down she was hoping Betty would come back to her.

"Is this seat taken?" A voice asked. Taylor's eyes glanced over and trailed up the body near her table. It was Elizabeth. Taylor smiled and motioned for her to sit across from her. "By you maybe." Taylor joked as Elizabeth took her seat.

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. Parking was a pain." Elizabeth sighed. "Not at all." Taylor shook her head and stared, her gaze locked onto Elizabeth and unable to look away. A part of her couldn't process and believe she was really sitting across from her again. The last time the two were like this was when they were 12 and back in school eating at the lunch table together. Elizabeth noticed Taylor staring and softly smiled, "What?" She asked.

Taylor blushed and shook her head. "Nothing." She replied and stared down stirring her cocktail. "May I get you anything Miss?" A server asked. "I'll just have water, thank you" She replied. The server nodded and walked off.

"Not much of a drinker?" Taylor asked.

"I have a drink here and there but I try not to drink often." Elizabeth replied.

"Don't like it?" Taylor asked.

Elizabeth hesitated, "Let's just say it's trauma." She faintly smiled.

"Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't know if something bad happened." Taylor apologized.

"Don't worry about it." Elizabeth replied. The two sat in silence for a moment. "I have to say, I'm surprised you invited me out to dinner or wanted to see me at all." Elizabeth said, shifting the conversation.

Taylor faintly smiled, "I guess I...I've just been wondering how you were after all these years. I didn't really keep up or know what happened to you."

"I wouldn't blame you for wanting nothing to do with me after everything that happened." Elizabeth sighed. Taylor shook her head, "We were kids. It wouldn't be fair to hold any of that against you. I guess I just." Elizabeth smiled, "I'm glad...I really missed you."

Taylor looked at her slightly surprised. She felt her heart rate begin to accelerate. "Y-You did?" Taylor asked. Elizabeth nodded, "I missed having my best friend around. It got pretty lonely when you left." Taylor tried to hide her disappointment and kept a smile on her face, "Right. Yeah, me too. It was hard."

"Well, at least we found our way back here." Elizabeth smiled. "Yeah..." Taylor faintly smiled. She was starting to wonder if this was all a waste of time. She didn't know what she doing or expecting in the first place. Of course, she would end up friend-zoned once again. She didn't know why she was coming back expecting a different outcome.

"But I'm really glad to see you again." Elizabeth placed her hand over Taylor's. Taylor glanced down at their hands unsure of what to think. Was she being polite? Was she trying to hint at something? "So what have you been up to?" Taylor asked. Elizabeth's hand was still on Taylor's.

"Here you are." The server said returning with a glass of water. Elizabeth and Taylor both immediately moved their hands away. They each looked at the other confused that they had the same reaction. Taylor knew she couldn't handle yet another PR scandal of her being publicly linked to a woman but was confused as to why Elizabeth would be quick to retract her affection when she was the one who initiated it.

"May I take your order's now?" The server smiled and had his notepad ready.