What I Should Have Said

28

Elizabeth was by to check on her dad. She saw him resting and silently entered the room. She approached his bedside. His breathing was slow and he looked pale. His eyes slowly opened and lit up once he saw her. He weakly smiled and looked down at hand. His smile slightly faded when he realized she still had the engagement ring Alex had given her.

"How are you holding up dad?" She asked.

"Glad to see you." He smiled.

Elizabeth faintly smiled and sat down on the chair next to his bedside. "You look like something is bothering you? What happened?" He asked.

She took a deep breath and exhaled," I went out to have coffee with mom when she came."

"Why is that bothering you?" He asked.

"She told me why she left, dad. She was having an affair." She replied, "S-she was seeing another woman."

He remained silent trying to process the information. "She left us for some woman. She abandoned us so she could live the fucking life she wanted and thinks she could just come back and everything would be okay?!" Elizabeth rambled on.

"Betty." Mason calmly replied.

"She's selfish and I want nothing to do with her." Elizabeth continued.

"Betty." Mason repeated.

"Why aren't you more upset about this?!" Elizabeth shouted. Mason remained calm, " Because life is too short to let the past taint your future. It's too short to hold grudges."

"Dad she was the one who accused you of cheating when she was the one cheating and ruining the marriage!" Elizabeth argued.

" Betty...We were trying to revive something that died long ago. I tried to make it up to your mother, I did. But I tried to fix things when it was too late. That was on me. But I did suspect your mother's heart wasn't always there during our marriage. This explains why. It was doomed from the start regardless if I tried." He explained.

"Dad she's the reason you're in here." Elizabeth glared.

"No!" Mason slightly raised his voice,"I'm here because of me. I was too preoccupied feeling sorry for myself that I never once stopped to think about you." Elizabeth was taken aback and silently listened.

"I'm here because of my own stupid choices. I chose a fucking liquor bottle over my daughter and I'll never forgive myself for it. I should've put you first and fought harder when you needed me to. God knows that's all you ever needed...someone to actually fight for you and I should've done better." He sighed.

"Why are you just excusing her?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Because I could only imagine how she must have felt all those years. I can't help but feel sorry for her. I just wish she would have told me." He replied.

Elizabeth stayed silent and looked down at her hands. Mason looked over at her, "I would've wanted her to know she was safe to tell me anything because I would never want her to feel like she wasn't safe with me."

Elizabeth looked up at him. "She didn't have to leave us. I just don't understand how the hell someone could do that?"

"Maybe you should give her a chance." Mason replied.

"Why should I?" Elizabeth questioned.

Mason faintly smiled, "Because maybe she's the only one who can give you the answers you need."

Elizabeth looked at him confused," What are you talking about?"

"Just try to go easy on your mom. Give her a chance to make it up to you." He shrugged.

Elizabeth scoffed, " Make it up to me after 20 years? What could she possibly make up for that she hasn't already ruined?"

"Betty...allow people the chance to make it up to you and right their wrongs." He replied.

"This isn't about mom..." She replied.

"What?" He asked confused.

"This is about you." She shook her head in disbelief and stood up. "You're such a selfish prick. Of course you make this about you. You want me to just believe this 'morally superior dad' act, you just want to get a free pass so you could feel less awful about being a shit father." She coldly replied.

"Betty..." He weakly called out as she made her way out of the room, "I love you..."