The Violinist GxG (intersex)

Chapter 1

Vivienne

My life was never easy, it was never fun nor was it healthy. Perhaps when I was a kid I was happy but as soon as I lost my hearing at the age of fifteen everything changed. I was a passionate kid who loved music, I used to be told that I had talent but soon my dreams were crushed when I realized that I couldn't hear what I was playing, or anything at all. 

My parents made sure I got the help I needed by getting me hearing aids, but it was never the same as having your natural ability to hear. I hated how everybody around was good, was normal, I envied them so much. I still do...

Add to the list that I was an intersex woman, which meant not only did I get discriminated against for being deaf but also for having boobs and a dick. Weird combination, right?

But, I never gave up on music. I never gave up on myself, I continued working hard because the music was what I loved, it was what made me go on, I realized I had one advantage that other composers and musicians didn't have. I could feel the vibration of sound, whatever it was, piano keys, guitar strings, everything made a vibration. It was odd at first but I used it to my advantage. 

I would play my violin without hearing my music, I would compose it without having to hear a single note and it was "revolutionary" as the industry put it, some people accused me of faking my disability because to them there was no way I was that "good", as for others, well they saw me as a genius. 

A deaf violinist? Nobody saw it coming. 

Currently, I play for this local orchestra, I've only been with them for a few months now. I was a background violinist, I played with the group and never had the chance to solo play in an event just yet even though the conductor and director knew who I was and my talent, I was still the newbie and I wasn't going to get the spotlight anytime soon. And the pay wasn't that good either, I needed to find a better company or a better sponsor.

That is why, I was making my way to this music/entertainment company to test my luck. I was running through the busy street trying to get there on time. I quickly crossed the street gripping the strap of my violin bag, I was late because I spent my whole morning looking for my hearing aids and still didn't find them, so I went without them. 

It was dangerous to just run around the city without them especially when it was rush hour and I couldn't hear a thing, I stood on the sidewalk tapping my foot nervously as I waited for the light to turn green so I can cross. I glanced at my watch for a moment and realized I was 10 minutes late already, I should just cross, the street was empty and I'd been waiting for too long. 

The moment my foot was set on the road to cross I felt the wind get knocked out of my lungs, something had crashed into me sending me a few feet away. The pain was unbearable; my whole right side was aching terribly, but the worst part was my right wrist. I couldn't feel it or move it. I lay on the ground whimpering in pain, I could see people circling me trying to check if I was okay or not. A man wearing a motorcycle helmet had his phone out and I watched his lips move quickly so I couldn't tell what he was saying.

An old woman kneeled next to me with a worried look, she mouthed "Are you okay" along with other words that I didn't catch. I sat up with her help and nodded slightly. 

"I'm deaf," I said and signed at the same time using my left hand since my right was injured. She nodded and gently brushed my hair out of my face. I looked around me and noticed a motorcycle crashed on the road, I must've been hit by that. It's a miracle that I'm still alive.