Ever Since You Came | Fetty Wap

Prologue

July 2014.

Fourth of July comes once again. Families get together to enjoy the fireworks at the beach. My boyfriend Jordan and I were lying on a blanket in Santa Monica beach, while his parents and mine were watching the fireworks from the hotel we're staying at.

"Jordan! That's you!" I said pointing at this white boy who was wearing an Eagle shirt with an American Flag boxers, to top, it off, he painted his skin blue, red, and white.

Jordan looked around to spot who I was pointing at. He laughed once he saw him, "Keep talkin' that shit, baby," He said making my hair a mess.

"Shut up," I laughed and snuggled back into his chest. I started drawing circles on his chest with my index finger, then put my leg on top of him. I felt something hard poke my thigh, I knew what it was. I reached into his pocket, but he slapped my hand away.

"Are you carrying that damn gun again?" I whispered.

"You know why I do this. To keep us safe."

Jordan grew up in a Crip neighborhood. and he currently is one. He often carries a gun in case a rival gang member wants to get on his bad side. Which is really scary if you ask me, although he's a year younger than me.

"I know, I know. Just don't be causing any bullshit, okay Jay? I'm two months pregnant and the last thing I want is for you to get hurt and not be there for the baby."

"Don't worry baby," He said and kissed my cheek, "I will be here for you and my baby boy, aight?"

I smiled and kissed his neck, "Do you know what you want to name her?"

"I wanna name him Jayceon."

"Really? Your middle name?" I laughed.

He chuckled, "I always liked it. It would've been dope if it was my first name."

"One more thing..."

"Hm?"

"Why are you so sure that it's a boy? It could be a girl, ya' know?"

He shrugged, "I just know. Just remember Jordan Smith knew since day 1 that Jayceon was gonna be a guy. He gon' be a real man like me," He said all cocky.

"You play too much," I said and we both laughed. After our laughter had died down, I felt him look down at me. I looked up at him and he had a serious look on his face.

"Baby..." He whispered then looked up at the fireworks, "If I die today-"

"What do you mean if you die today?" I said starting to get worried.

"Let me finish, baby. I'm just sayin' if I die today, always remember I love you and Jayceon, aight? I will always look down at you and protect you from above, you got it?"

I started tearing up, it's so obvious there's something he is hiding from me. He pulled my face closer to his and gave me a long, passionate kiss.

"Wipe them tears, aight Dana?" He said and started wiping my tears with his thumb, "Aight baby, I gotta go somewhere real quick. Be back in a couple of minutes."

No no no nonono...

"W-Where the fuck are you going, Jordan!" I said trying to hold back tears. This bitch has me guessin' instead of just simply tellin' me.

"Calm down Dana, I'm just going to the bathroom, nothin' risky."

"Promise," My voice cracked.

"On my momma, baby," He said and kissed me.

I sighed and nodded. I watched the fireworks as I waited for Jordan to come back. I couldn't completely enjoy the beauty in the sky, because of me stressing over Jordan. Should I have begged him more? What if he's not safe right at this moment? What if I wasn't convincing enough and that's why he left?

I stood up and went to the bathrooms. I heard voices behind the restrooms. One of the voices I recognized was Jordan, while other voices were deep.

"... I don't give a fuck no more," One of 'em said. I gulped and tried to get a better view of the situation, without them noticing me. I saw Jordan about to reach in his pocket until one of the guys in red quickly cocks his gun and shoots Jordan multiple times.

I hid behind the restroom again, just listening to what sounded like 10 gunshots. Once it was over, I looked again.

My heart stopped.

"NOOOOO!" I screamed. I saw them run off somewhere, at the moment I didn't care where. I needed to see if Jordan was still alive. I quickly called 911, in hopes of them to arrive quick here.

Jordan started coughing up blood and was shaking. I realized that he had been shot all over his torso.

"I'm not gonna make it," He coughed.

"Yes! Yes you are!" I cried.

"I love you and Jayceon, aight? I'll protect y'all somehow..." I could tell he was about to say something else, but his eyes rolled to the back of his head before he could finish.

"NOO!" I screamed. I hugged his bloody body not caring if I ended up dripped up in blood, "I love you too much for you to die."

As I cried on Jordan's chest, a small Pitbull suddenly approached me out of no where and started licking my arm. I narrowed my eyes at it.

I sighed, still in tears, "I guess it's just you and me," I read his tag, "Roscoe."

Roscoe and I stayed together next to Jordan until the police and an ambulance came, it really made no difference... The love of my life died before they arrived.

A week later, I ended up getting a miscarriage and lost my baby, Jayceon.

Something is telling me this was all my fault...