For Every Missing Shade

Entry 3

It didn't take long before I could tell that she had me hooked. Like a fish with no will to fight back, she unconsciously reeled me in. I found myself going out of my way to get a glimpse of her. Trips to class turned into trips to the drinking fountain, two walks past her locker bay, a trip to the bathroom, a lap around the halls, and finally to class.

My day was filled with dreams about her.

Although I had never talked to her, questions swirled in my mind about how our hypothetical encounter would go. How would I say hi, what could we talk about, how would I stand?

But, today I finally did get the chance to answer those questions. And this chance, like 99% of all things in my life, came in the most awkward way possible.

I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom, which was only kind of a lie. I really just wanted to clear my head. I started wandering the halls, peeking into locker bays and chatting with other adventurers like me.

I got halfway down the science hallway when someone came into view. It wasn't hard to tell who it was. She was the only thing in color. She had the same facade of importance I built up, yet I could tell that she hadn't a clue what she was doing either. I panicked and tried to find a reason to walk away. What am I supposed to say to her anyway? "Hey there, I don't know who you are, but I walk an extra marathon every day so I can see you."

I looked for ways to get out of walking past her, but it seemed I was stuck. I thought about turning around while pretending I just remembered to do something. That one has worked before.

But she was looking right at me. Was that a wave? No, she was just fixing her hair. But she's still looking at me. My heart beat faster. I wanted to keep walking towards her, but my mind started running circles around itself. She waved again, this time clearer.

I needed to wave back. But how? Did I just forget how to wave?

Fuck.

We got close enough that I could see her mouth chew gum. Wait, no, she wasn't chewing, she was talking.

Talking to me.

I completely missed what she asked, so I said the first thing that popped in my head. "Oh yeah, s-so science huh?" I said it quickly, hoping it was the right response.

"Wait, what?" She cocked her head to one side and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Hm?" I leaned forward and turned my head slightly, trying to play along. It's like I was trying to say, don't worry I just confused myself too.

Needless to say, I don't think I made any sense.

"I asked you what you're doing out here," she said. "I've seen you walk past my class like five times."

"Oh yeah, of course. Umm, I was just..." I stopped to rub the back of my neck. "I was just, ya know, hanging out... out here, walking around. Just chilling. How about you?"

One time in middle school someone tried to run out of the classroom, tripped over a chair, and then pissed his pants. I think I just did the verbal equivalent of that.

I looked around to see if anyone could do me a favor and shoot me in the face. No luck.

She let out a pity laugh as she answered me. "Well, I finally started to get tired of looking at Mr. Lance's buttcrack every time he bent down to write on the board. It was all about the correct way to dissect a cat, which I don't think is knowledge I need to know, so I bailed. Now, here I am." She waved her arms out in front of her, introducing me to her performance for the day.

"Well it certainly is an honor," I said. I started walking and she tagged along.

"It's Israel, right?" she asked. "I've heard about you before. Aren't you the one who paints?"

I laughed, my face turning red. "I guess so, but that's really the only cool thing about me. I'm pretty lame otherwise."

"Oh come on, there's no way that's true. I've never met an artist I didn't like." She widened her already huge eyes as she talked.

Note: blue eyes are beautiful, but big blue eyes are drop-dead gorgeous.

"I guess we should get to know each other then. I think you'd be surprised at just how terrible I can be," I retorted.

"Well okay then Israel Taylor, we have about 100 steps until I get to my classroom again. I'll give you that long to change my mind." She put a mischievous look in her eyes like she was trying to challenge me.

"Well let's see," I began. "People say I chew way too loud... and I tell the worst jokes known to the human race."

In my head I started counting the steps we were taking. We were at 27.

"Everyone has bad jokes, though."

"I also have some pretty horrible road rage."

"Even against the elderly?" she asked.

"Oh, especially the elderly. If you can't drive the speed limit, don't drive."

She laughed. 37 steps.

"My mom's purse is my personal ATM, the last time I did my own homework was in elementary school, and one time my sister pissed me off so I put an enormous wad of gum in her favorite shoes."

"Okay that last one is pretty bad," she said with a smile, "but I've definitely heard worse." Her hair shone in perfect waves over her shoulder every time we passed under one of the lights. She had more than a couple of freckles resting on her nose that curved slightly upward. I haven't looked at where I was walking in forever, but she was a more important destination anyway. 82 steps.

"Okay we're like 5 steps away from the door, so you better ramp it up."

"Okay fine I club baby seals and I steal babies for fun."

She laughed, "Okay now that's pretty bad." 88 steps.

We reached the door, and she was about to go in.

"Do you want to know the worst part?" I asked.

"There's more?" She sounded surprised.

"Yeah, and I don't think you're going to want to talk to me again after this." She looked puzzled, but kept listening. I continued. "You said it would take us 100 steps to get here, but it didn't. I counted. It took 88 steps. Also, when you said we had 5 more steps, we were at 82. So it took us six steps to get to the door, not 5."

She took a second, looked down at the ground, and smiled as she shook her head. "Well Israel, you were right. You are an absolutely horrendous person... But thanks for walking me to class."

"Any time," I said, my face growing red. "Don't worry about it."

I smiled like an idiot when I closed the door behind her. Then, I smiled like an idiot all the way through the halls, and I smiled like an idiot until the bell rang.