For Every Missing Shade

Entry 8

I realized that my obsession with Emma had resulted in a complete lack of attention to Stew, and I knew he realized it as well. I had been dodging him in between classes and ignoring him over the phone so I could talk to her

That night I decided to call him.

"Hey buddy," I said cheerfully. "Haven't talked to you in a while.

"Yeah," he responded plainly, "what's up?"

"I wanna take you out to dinner, my treat."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't seen you in forever, that's why."

"That's not my fault," he said. Aggression was creeping into his voice.

"I know, I know. I've been an ass. Just let me buy you dinner."

I heard him sigh on the other end. "Yeah, sure. Let's just go to the McDonald's by school."

"Meet you there in twenty minutes?"

"Yup. See ya then."

He hung up the phone as I tried to think of more things to say. I got dressed, hopped in my car, and drove over.

I saw him walking in as I pulled into the parking lot.

"Hey," I said as I pulled my head out of my sedan.

"Hey." He turned around and walked in as I followed behind.

I watched as he started rattling off food items while I looked through the menu for something I wanted. I decided on an ice cream cone and went up to the counter to hear him finish his order.

After we got his tray of food, we found a booth and sat down.

"Look," he said. "I just don't like it when people start leaving their best friends for some girl they just met."

"I know and I'm sorry. It's been a lot to handle, and I'm sorry that I blocked you out."

"You don't get it, though," he said. "It's not even that you're blocking me out, but sometimes I don't want to hear about how cool this girl is. You either don't talk to me at all or you talk about her. This is crazy, dude."

He had a point. Ever since I met her, it was like Free Fall all over again. I didn't want to smother her, but she was all I could think about. I felt like I couldn't help it. But, I don't want to be the type to lose my friends because of some girl.

"I think you should meet her," I offered. "You two would get along well."

"Maybe," he said. "I don't know, though. Are you really sure she's a good one? I mean, how prepared is she to deal with all of your shit?"

"Well, good enough to deal with it for this long and still not run away."

"Exactly why there's gotta be something wrong with her," he joked.

He was smiling at this point which was good. I decided to close it down. "Look, man. I'm sorry I shut you out. I promise I'll do better."

"Okay. But if you do it again, I'm ordering twice as much food for your apology dinner."

I laughed. "Fair enough. Are we good?"

"Yeah, we're good."

Tension lifted in the air. We spent the rest of the meal talking about movies, video games, space, Earth, and everything else in between. I left the restaurant feeling queasy, but good. I got into my car and started the ignition. Without thinking much, I knew where I needed to go next.

--

I looked at the same front door I knocked on when we went on our first date. My queasy feeling hadn't subsided yet. I kept reminding myself that they were just rumors he heard and that they had no sort of evidence. Also, it wouldn't matter anyway. Who cares about the past. I pulled out my phone and called her.