For Every Missing Shade

Entry 42

I got the call sometime between my calculus class and history the following Monday.

"Hello?" I asked.

I saw the number on my phone. The caller ID showed up. It was the hospital.

"Is this Israel Taylor?" a calm voice on the other end asked.

My hands were trembling. My feet turned numb. "Yes, yes it is."

"Mr. Taylor, this is Emma McKenzie's doctor. You are on the list of people to be immediately notified when, well, when the time is closing in."

I stayed silent.

"I would recommend coming to the hospital now as we aren't sure how much time is left."

I managed to choke out an, "mhm," as I hung up the phone.

I tried to walk again but grabbed onto the wall for balance. My legs weren't working. My heart was racing.

There were no calls, no telling a teacher, not even a trip to my locker.

I just walked out of school.

My car was silent as it drove me down the cold, grey streets. I wasn't thinking about where I was going or how I was going to get there. I just made turns whenever my arms made them for me. I didn't press the gas, my legs just did whatever they felt was right.

I didn't do anything. I wasn't there. I was only some consciousness crammed inside a body that moved on its own.

Eventually, I found the right parking lot and I walked inside. I passed by Emma's parent's car and stumbled through the sliding glass doors.

"Excuse me, sir, who are you going to see?"

"Emma," I said under my breath.

"Excuse me, but Emma who?"

"McKenzie," I wimpered out. "Please," I added for good measure.

"I have you in the system, thank you."

I turned and walked to the elevator and pressed floor three.

I walked down the same hallway I had been walking down for the past two weeks, months, years, or however long I had been doing it. I tried to snap myself out of this limbo I was in. This wasn't about me, this was about her.

It felt better to think about her. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to her room. Her parents held their tissues close to their bodies as if they were hiding them from Emma as she lay with her eyes closed.

"Oh Israel, honey, welcome," Mrs. McKenzie said to me.

"Hi, Mrs. McKenzie. How is she?" I looked at her. Why isn't she looking back at me?

"Oh, she's been resting for a bit now. We don't know what happened, really, she just had a really rough night."

"How much longer does she have?" I asked, the tears building up.

"We don't know," Dave added in, his face ghost white. "Should be today, might be tomorrow, but it's probably not going to be after that." He said it monotonously as if he didn't even believe it himself.

"Okay, okay," I said, more to myself than to anyone else. "Is she still conscious? Like, can she still, ya know, hear me?"

her mom blew her nose and dabbed her eyes. "We think she can still hear. She's really gotten weak the past couple of hours, so she hasn't talked."

"Oh," I said. "Should I, uh, just talk to her?" My throat caught every word as it struggled out.

"I think she'd love that. We can give you the room if you want," she said.