uelle [hetalia x reader]

sarcastic soulmates [england x reader]

warning for crude and lame humour

—

"Well first of all, I don't like you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"And your clothing sucks."

"Like yours is better?"

"Naturally!"

You bickered back and forth, shamelessly insulting each other, until Germany bellowed for the both of you to shut up so they could actually get work done.

England had only scoffed, muttering something about how it was your fault being a younger nation. You only rolled your eyes.

"Anyways, we need to deal with the pollution situation in Beijing. China's been sick for weeks. Any suggestions?"

You raised your hand, waiting to be called.

"[c/n]?" You nodded, standing up.

"May I propose that some sort of factory policy is put in place? For example, any factory greatly contributing to the issue be put on some sort of limit or possibly even probation?" Germany looked interested as did other nations, but before he could say anything England piped up from where he sat.

"That's the most idiotic thing I've ever head!"

"Your ideas aren't any better, considering you don't have any!" The collective countries sighed internally.

They're at it again.

". . .[c/n], if I may ask, why do you and England constantly argue? Aren't you in some sort of relationship?"

You glanced at the speaker, who happened to be Belgium. You shrugged before responding.

"It's just kind of how we talk to each other, I guess? We don't mean it or anything."

England nodded. "We're sarcastic soulmates."

Germany sighed. Well what else was new.

"We are off topic once more! Now, back to the subject of Beijing's crisis. . ."

◊◊◊

". . .And so in my next slide you'll see that the next plan on our agenda would be to. . ." England trailed off as he saw the 'edits' you had made to his presentation. In large black letters it read 'WE WILL HAVE TO EAT A BAG OF DICKS'

You could hardly hold in your laughter as you snorted, then began laughing uncontrollably.

"[c/n]! What the hell is wrong with you?" England shouted, stalking over to you. Your expression faded but a glint in your [e/c] eyes still remained. As the blonde neared, you grabbed his tie and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, before turning him around to go back to the projector.

"Sorry. I promise there's no more surprises on your presentation." You said, glancing over at Germany who had at this point given up along with the rest of the more straight-laced countries. Prussia, on the other hand was still crying with laughter.

"Anyway as I was saying, after we sort out the new policy we can finally achieve. . ." He stopped short once more, green eyes flashing murderously, because on the next slide you had put some rather. . . graphic USUK yaoi. As he turned to face you, you yelped and ducked under the table.

"Damnit, [c/n]!"

—

thIS IS SO LAME

but i love it tbh i got the idea from

a buzzfeed video

wow you've reached a new low lena

anyways i bet some of you are still dead from the last update so here's stupid stuff to make you happy <3

xx crescent