Love, Nozwi.

Discovery

After thorough research and investigation of the strange and novel feelings I have been experiencing these past months, I finally have the answers.

I must admit dear diary, the findings have taken me by complete surprise.

It was the last thing I expected.

In the earlier months of getting these emotions and feelings, I put them down to being;

Respect. But I knew it was more than just respect, so I put it down to being admiration, then to gratitude...

But as the months went by I still felt that it was more than just that. And so after through research of reading scholarly articles, journals, countless searches on google, I finally have the answer.

It's love. It's love dear diary.

I love her.

I love her, I love her and she loves her wife.

Love,
Nozwi.

The young woman closes her diary and puts it inside her dressing table drawer where it stays.

Exhausted from her flight she throws herself on the bed, runs her tongue over her teeth braces and she starts counting the fairy lights in her room.

A tinge of guilt creeps up on her. Why on earth would the first person she loves be a married woman? Why Nozwi, why? Why are you like this?

It's so wrong. So immoral. So unethical.

But then again she hadn't asked for this. She didn't plan it. And it's not like she would ever in a million years do anything about her discovery. It would stay just that- a discovery.

Her mind wanders off to how the work trip went. To her future.

She lived in a big company house- perks of her job, but it was too big for her. She had more than enough money, but had no idea what to do with it. Should she buy a house for when she finally retires or maybe just somewhere else to go when she's on leave from work? What would happen after her work life? Maybe she could get a cat, and a few dogs... Life wouldn't be so bad.

But could she handle all the stress that came with buying or building a home? All the legal paperwork, and what if there were complications and she had to go to court or they tried to rob her??

Oh Nozwi...

These thoughts were too big for her and so she shut her mind, took her phone and started scrolling on Tumblr, her safe space. And so she fell asleep with her phone in her hands.

The twenty five year old woman spent most of her life wishing that she was like other people.

She was grateful for her job that enabled her to have minimal interaction with other people. She worked as a computer programmer in a mining company. She has her own office, and mostly just worked on her computer.

She had been working on this job for about two years now. She finished college at twenty three and absolutely struggled to find a job. She had graduated at the top of her class at 21 years, had excellent marks and could be considered a computer genius, but there was only one problem, she couldn't talk. She was extremely shy and stuttered and stammered each time she had to speak.

And so she failed almost every job interview that she went to.

Eventually she stopped going at all. It was all too much, trying to reassure herself that she would be fine. Getting ready to leave the house... All of that anxiety and so at some point she just gave up.

Until one day where she saw a job advert online where there was a job vacancy for a computer programmer at Peaks Diamond  Mine.

She ignored it. But it kept popping up for months later on, an indicator that they hadn't found anybody and so she decided to go and give it a try. she sent them an email, applying for the job and the next day, they responded. They called her in for an interview...

Just thinking about having to leave the house, having to talk to people, it made her cry. She barely slept, tossing and turning thinking about the interview.

But she did it. She woke up, prepared herself and drove to  Peak Diamonds Mine.

And as per norm, as soon as they started asking questions she clamped up. Tears stung her eyes... She felt ridiculous. Leaving the interview panel stunned. This woman had amazing, excellent marks and had great recommendations from her professors about her abilities, but then she couldn't answer even the simplest of questions??

Nozwile was ready to storm out and run back to her house.

A woman who has been silent for a while, speaks up.

"How about we do this miss Gule,  we are going to prepare a written interview for you, and we would like you to write down your answers, after that we will test you by giving you some work to do... Would that be alright?" The woman asks.

Nozwi nods without looking at her.

The panel looks at each other, trying to figure out what their colleague Miss Dlamini is trying to do.

About ten minutes later and Asiphile gives the young woman the written interview questions, along is also a paper with the work Nozwi was supposed to do on the computer as part of testing her capabilities.

In less than five minutes and Nozwi was done writing down her answers.

And she moved on to the computer and for the task that would normally take over thirty minutes to complete, she was done in just ten minutes.

"Wow... She's a genius of some sort huh..." Asiphile thinks to herself.

The panels nods in approval reading her answers. And they can't help but smile.

They had found a rare gem. And just like that she was hired.

Luckily her job, just required her to be on her computer, and so her none existent social skills wouldn't matter much.

And as she left, Asiphile couldn't help but smile at the strange young woman. Maybe she reminded her a bit of herself, since she too was a "strange" person.

Nozwi ran into her house that day, locked it, took off her shoes and started jumping on her bed with glee.

The moment was surreal.

"You did it Nozwi! You did it! You are a big girl with a big girl job now!!"

Asiphile sits on her couch, with her cider on her coffee table, catching up on the talk show she rarely missed. She loved how diverse, intellectually stimulating and interesting the TV talk show is, "Narratives with YV".

PS- I hope you like the first chapter. For new readers- I write unconventional mdlg lesbian books with black characters. I will not tolerate any racist remarks, bashing of my characters- find another outlet for whatever anger issues you may have. And my characters may be flawed and do/say stuff you don't necessary like or find "immoral", that's just the way it is, I write books out of the norm, meant for a mature, open minded audience and a target audience that actually enjoys this type of reading and if you can't handle that, then just don't read, simple... Don't annoy me.

Otherwise my books are a safe space, and all lovely comments and being angry with characters when they mess up is allowed, but in a healthy way... Don't bash them... Or only comment when you only have negative stuff to say.

Sorry bro, if you are too hateful, you can't hang with us. I roll with sweeties and lovers we don't play that.

Well, to those who have read "Orphans", this is Nozwile, Asiphile and Yoliswa's story! I hope we enjoy their journey.

And happy pride month babies!