Heartbreak Boy | Tronnor AU

thirteen - Grey

[A/N] I'm sorry I haven't updated in like a year but I tried really hard on this chapter and it's the longest one yet! It's 725 words and my others are all 300/400. I know that most fanfics have long chapters with like 1k words per chapter but little and (sort of) often is how I roll...

// t r o y e //

Tuesday was filled with non discreet hints about Tyler, made by Connor. My hatred for that guy was rising so fast. He was also questioning why I deleted Tyler's number from his phone. Jealously bubbled up inside of me. It wasn't like he would have needed it; I was doing it to protect him. During the long wait in the lunch queue, while I was waiting to devour whatever I saw (I swear school starves me), he wouldn't shut up. Considering I'm an introvert, I never want to draw attention to myself but at that moment in time I was insanely close to dropping everything and storming out. Thank god I didn't because I needed that slice of pizza.

Once we reached our quiet spot, where we usually sat of a lunchtime, I sat down and began eating and he still wouldn't stop.

'- shouldn't mess with stuff like that, it's not-' The words spilled out of his mouth, going in one ear and out the other.

'- Troye, look at me. You haven't even-' Usually, Connor's views on everything fascinate me and I could listen to him for hours. However, right now, I couldn't take it.

'Shut up, shut up, shut up!' I yelled, probably a bit forcefully. Connor's green eyes went wide as he winced at my sudden outburst.

'Sorry...' He looked down at his feet, timidly. 'I just don't think you understand.'

'Understand? Understand what? You've been going on about Tyler for the past 10 minutes when you should hate the guy!' I was harsh on him but I was really confused. What was his problem?

'Do you not see what your doing to me?' His eyes found his way back up to mine, a look of pure hurt hidden behind them.

'I'm helping you?' I said, questioning myself. Connor rose to his feet, with me not far behind. The tension in the air was choking me so bad that I couldn't find words. He took a deep breath and began to spill, a weight visibly lifting.

'All of this secret stuff with the messages and the disappearing and the lying, what is it? You're hiding a secret and don't try and tell me your not because I can tell. You can't lie to me. It's killing me. You're all I have left and you're slipping through my fingers. Can't I do anything right? After everything you've said, your leaving me for some other guy.' Tears were threatening to spill from his oh so beautiful eyes. Was I that obvious? Never would I have wanted him to feel like this. Connor wasn't finished.

'Um, you really have made me feel like nothing, Troye. I've relapsed. All those months of hard work are now gone.' He proceeded to roll up his sleeves revealing red, raw marks dotted around his delicate skin. They ran from halfway up his forearm all the way up to his elbow. I couldn't comprehend what he was showing me. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed. My mouth formed an o as it fell open. Connor cleared his throat.

'This is what I've resorted to. This is what you've done. I was doing so well, I hope your proud of yourself.' He spat, his eyebrows furrowed. 'Why, Troye, why?'

'Because I love you!' My heart was racing and my breaths were short. I backed up against a wall as I felt my legs about to go from beneath me. The hard brick slammed against my back and I slid down, broken. I didn't mean for this to happen. I was protecting him. My heart was shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Connor hurt himself. Because of me.

I looked up and he was sitting on the grass, slumped in a ball. His once green eyes were a shade of grey so plain, it blended in with the dull sky on a cloudy day. Tears were freely running down his cheeks. His shoulders were unsteadily moving up an down and a hiccup escaped his lips. No, no, no, it was coming and I couldn't stop. Words tangled in my mind as I stuttered out,

'I guess it's time to explain...'

His gaze met mine but not for long, he couldn't bare to look at me. I had messed things up big time.