Unkept Promises

Turmoil of emotions

Abhiram's POV

I was sat in the confines of our room thinking about the woman I claimed to love the most and yet, had hurt the most - my wife, my Avi. How difficult it was to stare at her broken face, all because of me. The face which should always have been glowing with glee and all the happiness in this world had become so sullen, so withdrawn, all because of me. And I had claimed of my suffering since the past few months, but how had she been feeling with all the accusations we threw her way, with all the isolation. I had our entire family standing with me, while she only had Aaru.

After I had cried my heart out in front of her, I wanted to sincerely apologize, but Aaru had bounded in our room demanding some snacks. Honestly, I do not deserve to even apologize to her. The manner in which I have hurt her, betrayed her love, made a ridicule of our relationship was extremely humiliating. I was ashamed, extremely ashamed to look her in the eye. How could I hurt that wonderful human being who had become my life since I had gotten married to her. How could I accuse her of something so low, so heinous. Had I shown a little trust in my Avi then, given her a chance to explain things - basically heard her side of the situation at least once, I would not have been standing alone today. Did she feel the same way when I had insulted her in the worst possible manner all these days?

And all of this for whom? For Kinjal, I cannot even utter the name of that wretched sister of mine. I had always thought of her to be a bit difficult, somewhat different than mummy, pappa and I, but this level of evilness - I simply cannot fathom its roots. Where had we gone wrong? What had we done wrong when it came to her? As far as I can remember, nothing.

I was 5 when she was born and I remember being so excited about having a new sister. Being an introvert right since the childhood, I was much closer to mummy and pappa and practically clung on to them. Ideally having a new sibling should have made me even more possessive of them, but I grew possessive of the three of them. Family is the ultimate happiness - that's what I had believed in since the childhood and so, instead of being jealous of the affection baby Kinjal received from our parents, I partook in coddling her with the same affection. I was so proud being her elder brother, someone she could look up to.

Kinjal was a happy baby, she would not really fuss about things, or scream or shriek or shout, or even throw tantrums. We had a happy childhood together. However, I started noticing a few changes in her since she entered the first grade. Kinjal would always have lower test scores than what I had scored when I had been in the same grade as hers. Mummy and pappa did not really mind. They were pretty relaxed parents, so unlike others around, and so they praised Kinjal and encouraged her always, no matter what. She had a knack for creative things and pappa would often enroll her in workshops of those kinds. The neighbours and relatives however, were not so generous. They would often compare her with me. And perhaps, that must have been the beginning of her behavioural changes.

She began drifting away, spending less time with us, sort of rebelling - I would say so because Kinjal and I had the same sort of rules to follow around in the house, it wasn't that she was a girl and so she had to follow some more stringent rules. Mummy and pappa never discriminated here. And that's why, the poisonous things she spoke today really do not make any sense, now that I am able to at least give it a thought.

She started getting involved with some not so decent people which made us intervene and which made her rebel more. Perhaps we should have persisted more gently? She started being increasingly difficult and bitter and sarcastic? Perhaps we should had been more understanding? I do not know. I do not know where we went wrong, or if we really went wrong? Were all of these her insecurities instilled by others or her pure jealousy for me?

But mummy and pappa never treated us differently - never - even when she had started acting out. No, that's simply not it.

Should we have protected her more from those vicious taunts and comparisons? Yes, we did, we did all of that, we comforted her, soothed her mind, protected her. I personally remember answering back to a lot of relatives and neighbours for her. She was my sister and I was extremely protective of her. But still she persisted, as if all of what happened with her was our fault. And yet, we overlooked upon all the hurt and pain she hurled our way. Was that our fault? Understanding her?