Unkept Promises

To forgive you

Abhiram's POV

I was caught up in a trance. Something which seemed too unreal, too unusual, if I might say so. Her lips on mine? Was this for real, or was I so perturbed by the reality and wary of pain and hurt, that I had imagined it all. Perhaps, I was hallucinating.

To make sure, I brought up my hands to her cheeks and caressed them. F*ck, it was real, her lips on mine. They were real. I was living in this moment and I had not conjured this up within my mind. My Avi's hands found their way to my hair and she caressed them. She assured me that it was all real.

Was this how heaven felt like? I am sure it was. My own personal heaven. My home. My everything. My wonderful Avi.

F*ck, it all seemed so very surreal. Her lips on mine.

Our lips seemed moved together in unison, and I refused to let go. How could I even think of letting go? Such bliss, such an unfathomable amount of solace - it had been a year since I had felt that.

Oh my sweet Avi!

We reluctantly let go off each other when we were out of breath.

My gaze was set on her face, refusing to let go off the peace and solace I saw etched on it. It seemed that she felt that solace from within.

"I forgive you Abhi."

Those words fell upon my ears. Were they spoken by Avi? Were they spoken now?

The amount of disbelief I felt when I heard those words was akin to something else.

No, it mustn't be that. Now, I was convinced I was in a state of perfect hallucination, and that my mind had gone haywire.

"I do forgive you.", she spoke again. My eyes glistened with tears, and despite of that disbelief, my mind chose to cling on to the tiny beam of hope those words beheld. The beam was tiny because, in a mind clouded with all sorts of murkiness, hope takes a while to bloom and to thrive. And though, her words beheld an immense amount of hope in them, that darkness within my mind simply refused to let that beam pierce through it.

Seeing me still caught up in a turmoil of disbelief, hope and skepticism, Avi brought her warm hand to my face, and gently caressed my cheeks and jaw. I closed my eyes in relief. Whether all of this was true or not, was real or not - I decided to debate about it later. I wanted to delve into the soothing peace I felt with her gentle caresses, and so I did.

"Its all real Abhi. I do forgive you."

Hearing her gentle whisper, I opened my eyes.

"Why", my throat was clogged with all of what I felt within, and my words sounded weird to my own ears, "I....how Avi? I, thank you.....love, I cannot...why......how Avi?"

I could not even formulate a sentence.

"Shh, calm down.", her other hand found its way to my neck, and she caressed my neck with utmost affection.

"You need to calm down Abhi before we speak any further, hmm? Just take a deep breath."

Her soft voice coerced me into doing what she said, and I found the wheels within my mind halting with the steady intake of those much required breaths. The clog within my throat too stopped hurting that much, and I could feel my senses within my control yet again.

The it struck me.

F*ck.

I definitely must have looked pitiable when she would have seen me weeping in front of Krishna ji's idol. Was her forgiveness because of that?