I've been on the beach all day, thoughts running through my mind. I told them I was leaving but not to where, I just need a chance to think. I know what Colby is, I know what he's afraid of. Am I really ready to change my own life for someone I've only really just met? I really don't know. I dig my feet into the sand more, feeling the water wash it off again. Who am I to walk into this house and suddenly be the main focus? I don't like having all the attention on me and I don't know if I ever will. He's a very attractive man, with a captivatingly mysterious personality, which is attractive in and of itself. I don't know if I'd have the heart to live forever, but something tells me I would for him if I had to. I just wish I could help him leave this endless loop of life, help him age and grow like he was supposed to. He's a successful man, I question how many supporters he could pull by the time he'd have to disappear from social media. I grab my phone to scroll his videos and photos, smiling occasionally, feeling remorse for the facade.
I decide to look through the comments on Colby's posts with me again, though I should have learned.
Com- "She's so pretty. I'm glad Colby has a new friend"
Com- "I see why he keeps her around 😩"
Com- "I could do better"
Com- "She should fr back off. I don't get why she can walk in and think she owns the place"
Com- "New favorite trap girl!"
Com- "I say I love her for him but... How low can you go?"
I feel tears running down my face. So many nice people but the negative comments flood in faster. The farther down I go the worse they get. I'm getting called fat, ugly, a slut, and so on.. this isn't okay. But what if they're right? Maybe it is only in my head that he would want a girl like me. Just like it seems a lot of things have been the past few months. I decide to screenshot what's being said and post it on my Instagram, as that's where I have the most followers. I type a simple "thank you all for your kind words, I'll try to tune myself to your liking more 🖤" and I throw my phone back in my bag. I don't like me, strangers don't like me, most of my family doesn't either. I only have the trap house members left to comfort me. What's the point of this life when nobody wants you to live it? To disappoint? I sit looking into the sunset, and I choose to play with my silver pen once more, watching the red ink drip into the sand, listening to my phone buzz with each message. Seems like I'm popular for the hour.
Line
I don't want to burden them anymore.
Drip
I don't want to be hurt anymore.
Line
I don't want to be the reason people start thinking less of Colby.
Drip
I don't want to ruin the family they call the trap house.
And suddenly, problems start fading from my mind.
I simply don't want to be.
A/N. Hey guys, it's been a while since I've really sat down to work on this book and I apologize. It's gotten longer than I expected and it took me a while to plan out what I wanted to write. I think the next few chapters will be interesting. I apologize for such a morbid cliffhanger, but it plays into the story I promise. Now, I know Sam and Katrina broke up. However, it would be hard to play that into this story with the plans I've made, and it would take much longer for me to finish. I'd appreciate if everyone respects them, and my choice to keep them together for this story. In any future stories, she will be either excluded or apart from Sam completely. That being said, I'll update soon, and enjoy my book! (This will be deleted once the book is finished.)
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To Save A Blackened Heart
FanfictionThe story is about a suicidal girl who meets a very... different person. She starts falling in love but her old time best friend isn't having it. He doesn't want to date her or anything, but he doesn't want to see her get hurt by the black-hearted m...
