College Life | Hailee Steinfeld

Chapter 38: Acting

Y/N's POV:

I don't know what I'm feeling right now; frustrated, annoyed, confused, upset? Let's go with a little bit of all those things. I don't even know where I'm going right now, I just grabbed the car keys off the hook and pulled out of her driveway. In no way was that how I envisioned telling her the most exciting yet nerve-wracking news I've received in a while. I don't understand this, or her. I thought we both trusted each other, I thought we were in a stable and healthy relationship but time after time we find ourselves arguing about the littlest things. It seems like trust is something we definitely need to work on, and it's scary how easily something like a phone call can cause us to need space from each other. I mean I know it was my choice to leave the house, but in all honesty, I didn't want to say anything I didn't mean and have her say something that I would take the wrong way. I'm worried about my future with her, we're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase and be all lovey-dovey and so in love with each other but it seems like we skipped that and went straight into the part where we fight every other week. I don't want our relationship to be like that. I want to be that couple that can talk things out and have a mature conversation with one each other. With that thought weighing heavy on my mind I turn around and pull back into Hailee's driveway, I don't want to leave upset and have her inside upset. We should be able to talk to each other and solve this, so that's what I'm going to do.

I park the car and head into her house. It doesn't take long before I find her in the kitchen, on the bar stool with her head in her hands. She looks up when she hears me enter.

"You came back?" She stated, her tone full of surprise.

"I'll always come back, Hailee. I was just overwhelmed with emotions; I didn't know what to say so I thought the best thing was to take a step away and leave but that isn't what I want for us. I want us to be able to have a conversation about things even when emotions are heightened, I want us to trust and understand one another and not have a big fight cause us to spend time away from each other. So yeah, I'm back, and I would love to talk about our little fight" As I finish my little ramble, I see her face soften upon my words. I know she wants all of those things too and I know she's willing to work towards a better relationship for us, just like I am.

"I want those things too, Y/N" she replies. "I know you do, that's why we gotta start working on it right now" I say as I take a seat next to her. Once I sit down her hands finds it's way into mine without wasting a second.

"I was thinking about what you said, about me bringing my trauma and pain from my past relationships and deflecting it onto us and" She begins but I cut her off almost immediately, "No, that was wrong of me to say. You have a past and you were hurt before, you may have moved on from them but that doesn't mean you're fully healed and that's totally okay. I love you, and I love everything that comes with you. I'm sorry for even speaking on that" I express to her, guilt taking over me as I talk. I see a small smile form on her face and some tears in her eyes, but she's holding them back from falling. "Okay sorry, you can continue I won't interrupt anymore haha" I say, causing her to give me a soft laugh.

"Yes, as I was saying, it's no surprise I assume the worst before asking you about things, but I promise you I'm working on it, and it won't happen anymore. I should've asked you about your conversation in a calmer approach, instead of attacking you the way I did. I know you would never cheat on me or keep any secrets from me unless it was with good reason. So, I'm sorry for my end of that argument" I look at her with soft eyes, I understand where she's coming from and that sometimes it's just an impulsive reaction to feel betrayed, so I don't blame her at all.

"Baby, I get that. I assume the worst and I jump to conclusions pretty fast too. It's something we both can work on and I appreciate your apology. I love you" I say, not wanting to add onto anything more as we both seem pretty over the fight and just want to have a peaceful rest of our day.