Never again | Theodore Nott Vs. Cedric Diggory

30. Confused feelings

"I want to love you the right way this time."

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Theodore Nott's Point of View:

For the past few days, I've been high out of my mind. It's the only way I could get by with my decision of breaking up with Ronnie. Fuck, even thinking of her name hurts. I know I did it for the best. So we could be our best together in the end, but the constant sharp pain in my heart begs to differ.

Not seeing her this close to the battle scares the fuck out of me. I want to be there to know she's safe and to reassure her that I'll be fine (She's a worrier by nature) but that doesn't seem like a possibility now.

I haven't seen her since I left her dorm half the man I was when I walked into it. She's not going to class, I'm not going to class. When I go, she doesn't, and vice versa. I've tried to ask Liv for any updates, but she's just been giving me nasty looks every time I talk to her. Pansy is no different, and you would think she'd be on my side. But I know there are no sides to this. We were spiraling and in time this inevitably would be our outcome.

I need her to heal on her own. As much as it kills me to accept, I can't be a factor if she truly wants to be with Cedric again.

I want her to be happy above anything else in life, but I can't help the selfish part that wishes she was the happiest with me. Because that is exactly how I am with her.

She's it for me. Always has been and always will be. I've known this forever and it's why I planned to start something of our own after this term. I want to be with her for the rest of our lives so If I have to wait till we both get our mental sorted then so be it. But if she decides another man is her future then I'll have to accept her decision. I'd do anything for her. Even if it's the reason for my death.

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Veronica Thompson's Point of View:

I've never been so unhappy to be right in my life. I didn't want anything to do with love for so long, but a part of me thought Theo and me could be different.

A stupid part of me. I should've known better, that's why I didn't want to believe it when he said we'd find our way back. Even though it hurt like hell, my mind immediately put it with the other lies men have told me.

On a darker note, it was just announced to the school yesterday. Dumbledore was dead.

With no given details about it, but I knew.

I haven't been going to any classes. No one has really. Everyone's pretty much too scared. I was just waiting for the letter to come. The one saying it was time. To come home.

I don't have much keeping me here. The manor is a safer place to be and I know my parents will allow Pans and Liv to come so it was just a waiting game now.

I've missed Theo so much. I try to keep my mind off him by rereading my favorite muggle books, but it's no use. He keeps coming back into my mind, replaying our last conversation. Of things, I could've done differently. I think about what he's doing and if he's being safe no matter the task. If anything happened to him, I don't know how I would go on with life. He still takes the place of most of my heart and I know he always will.

"Are you sure you're fine by yourself?" Liv asks right after I insisted it was okay for her to leave my side.

"I'll be okay I promise."

A sad look falls on her before she sighs, "I just... I hate seeing you alone all the time, especially during a time like this. You need someone, Ronnie."