Concerns - DC
I've become numb to the circumstance.
But every once and while I breakdown.
Try my best to ignore the consequences.
I hate it here.
I hate it here.
The future is not clear.
I hate it here.
I hate it here.
You only live once.
That's what they say.
They don't see the struggle.
The way I pay.
Every day I push through the pain.
Stick to my lane, keep to my bubble.
I hate myself sometimes.
Stressed and messed up all the time.
I miss mom, she's always on my mind.
I smile to passerby's.
Act like I'm fine.
Try my best to act okay.
When I'm not.
The memories haunt me.
And it's starting to rot.
Destroy my heart.
Hide my feelings.
Trying to do a hard restart.
Never ending emotions.
Push them down until I can't.
Tears will follow, sobbing and waiting.
Living through the constant commotion.
It's become a burden.
Accepting the fate of her.
Hate myself for the hurt I left behind.
But it's In the past.
I'll just improve the hurt and keep working.
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But right now I'm not sure I can.
I keep praying.
And keep waiting.
For better things.
For recovery.
But if it ever comes.
Im afraid you won't know me.
Or remember our memories.
Won't be able to walk.
Or move effortlessly.
Im trying not to breakdown.
But the stress that keeps coming.
I feel like it you I need.
I miss you and what you were.
I'm afraid of what you will be.
You helped me through so much.
Loved me deeply through it all.
I can't let my tears fall.
No, not right now.
I've gotta stay strong.
Gotta stand tall.
But inside i'm worried.
Pretending to be okay.
They all say just pray.
As If god understands my pain.
I regret all I did before.
Nothing lasts.
And I don't know what's in store.
I always thought things would okay by now.
We'd be at Hershey park, laughing loud.
I don't wanna cry.
I don't want you to die.
Im not gonna have a false sense of confidence.
When things could go wrong again.
I do my best to avoid conversations.
And confrontations.
But you don't know how much I need you.
The memories that haunt me.
I miss you.
I never gotta say goodbye.
Or kiss you.
Say I love you.
Or tell you how much I appreciate you.
Nobody gets it.
They see it from their own perspective.
And they won't let me be negative.
I need to be, I can't release anything without addressing the real problems.
I hate myself for all I've done to my family.
They same I'm doing better, but don't how much of it is a working Strategy.
Come back to me mom.
Yes. I'm terrified of what you'll become.
But I don't want to lose you.
Even if people say pray to god.
I don't know if I can confront someone who's holding you back.
