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TRIGGER WARNING !!

Please note that this book contains explicit descriptions of suicide that may not be appropriate for readers currently suffering from suicide ideation

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【JOSEPHINE】


The smell of cinnamon wakes me. Then ginger. Cardamom. Coffee.

My morning chai calls my name. It screams come to me, Josephine, enjoy this symbol of your boyfriend's love one last time. I will. But not yet.

This has to be right.

Our last morning together needs to stay picture perfect. We both need to take this memory with us.

If there's anywhere for me to take mine.

I move to the bathroom. Brush my teeth. Wash my face. Step out of his t-shirt and boxers and into the chemise he bought me for my birthday.

Ivory satin with a matching trim. Simple, elegant, angelic.

Soft morning light flows in through the kitchen windows. It casts the room in a heavenly glow. Warms the air until it's just right.

Hero is leaning against the counter, hands wrapped around his coffee cup, eyes on fire.

His gaze lingers on my chest.

His tongue slides over his lips. "Baby, you look like an angel."

"A fallen angel."

"What's wrong with that?" He motions come here.

I do.

He sets his mug behind him. Brushes my hair behind my shoulder. Cups my neck with his palm. "You okay?"

Yes. For the first time in a long time, I am okay. Ever since I set the date, I've been calm. At peace. It's easier enduring the hurt knowing it will be over soon. But—"I'll miss you."

"It's only four weeks." He alludes to his internship in New York. The one that starts next Monday. The one taking him away from his life for an entire month.

The reason why I have to do this now.

To give him a clean break.

To keep him from turning down opportunities because of me.

To break the chain between us.

I'm an anchor wrapped around his neck.

I'm not dragging him down with me.

Not anymore.

"Still." It's not four weeks. It's forever. Whatever happens, wherever I go... I'm really going to miss him.

"I'll miss you too." He stares down at me. "But we have our entire lives together after this."

I press my eyelids together. Rise to my tiptoes. I can't talk about this anymore or I'll give something away. And I can't. I have to leave him with this.

I have to have him one more time.

I can't start bawling now.

Hero reads me exactly how I want him to.

His lips brush mine. A soft slow kiss, a kiss of a thousand I love you s.

Of affection, compassion, understanding.

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