Halfway to Love

Chapter 10

A clear 'enter' sounds through the wood and I open the door to enter the office. I let it swing shut behind me before taking a seat opposite his desk. I just look down at the floor. I don't really know how long we sit in silence for before I clear my throat,

"I've been lonely for four years. But you walking away has left me crippled. You promised I was safe with you. And you left. H... how am I safe when you leave? What happens the next time I get upset? Do you leave again? Do you just abandon me again?"

I look up at him,

"You don't get to care and then decide leave. So, make up your fucking mind. You can care and I will stay, or you can abandon me, and I will leave. I won't even wait for my birthday. I will go and pack right now and never look back."

He just stares at me. When the clock strikes the hour I get up and walk to the door. When my hand touches the door handle he clears his throat.

"You terrify me Elliot."

"Excuse me?"

"Your being terrifies me. You figured us out so fast. In your first few days you had Slater opening up. You got him to talk about things he's only ever said to me once. You have River wrapped around your finger and I don't think either of you know it."

He leant forward and put his elbows on his desk and put his face in his hands. I turn around but don't sit down.

"You were wrong with your comment about not fitting in Elliot. You are perfect. You can look after River; you can give Lewis the attention he craves. Slater is so open to you and so receptive of you that he would let you control him."

"And what about you Daniel?"

"You make me free."

He looks at me with eyes so full of pain that my heart breaks. I walk over to him, putting myself between him and his desk.

"What do you mean?"

He clears his throat again and leans his forehead against my stomach,

"For years I had to be the strong one. I had to be the Master, the dominant, the daddy. I didn't get a choice to be anything else because I love them, and I would do anything for them. There's been boys here who have come, healed and left. But especially Slater. He's been with me for so long. I'm not asking for a 17-year-old to hold my burden. The idea is to give you a life not to force you to hold mine. But I just..."

He shudders with a sob.

"You just what Daniel?"

"I just want to be held in the way I've held everyone else."

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him as close to me as I can in this position.

"Tell me that again in a week and a half when I can do something about it."

"You don't care that I'm 8 years old than you?"

I chuckle lightly.

"I've been assaulted by someone twice your age. I think dating you is just fine."

His deep rumble laugh filled the space as he leant back in his chair and wiped his face with his hands.

"How did your session turn into my session?"

He chuckles again and shakes his head. I boop his nose with my finger.

"These sessions are our sessions. We can share them. We both need to talk. We both need this."

He lays his head back on my stomach.

"I hate that life fucked you up enough to already be this mature."

"Me too Love. Me too."