Halfway to Love

Chapter 17

My cocoon of warmth was interrupted but a sudden weight and a squeal which terrifies me. I shove the weight off and look around without actually seeing what's in front of me. The panic claws up my throat just as steel bars wrap around my chest. Holding me to some chiselled stone. It's not until the tickle of chest hair that I feel on my back that I realise its not steel bars but Daniels arms. The chiselled feeling behind me is his chest and abs. Blinking my eyes a few times I look at the foot of the bed and see a distraught River.

I tap Daniels arms and he let lets me go so I can shuffle back up the bed and lean against the headboard. I pull the duvet with me so my lower area I still covered, not sure how River would react to that right now. I clear my throat which causes them to look at me from under their eyelashes.

"Come here little love."

River sniffles and shakes their head. I can see them spiralling with how much they are shaking.

"We need to talk about some things, and you were asleep earlier. I'm all nakey under here so I need you to come to me baby."

After about a minute they shuffle over to me and as soon as they are close enough I lift them onto my lap, so they are straddling me and guide their head to my neck. Daniel kisses their head and then pecks my lips before getting up and leaving, grabbing a pair of joggers as he goes. I hold River until I feel their body relax fulling, putting all their weight onto me and nuzzling into my neck.

"I struggle when people make me jump. In the early days when my dad started getting people to come over, I wasn't used to listening for them. So, the sudden noise of my door opening or the sudden weight of a body over me was the only forewarning I had before the hell started. I know you are not him, that you aren't them. But when it takes me by surprise my first reaction is panic. It's something that I will work on with all of you but until then let's make a deal hmm?"

River leans back slightly, putting their palms on my chest and look at me,

"When you want to get all excited and jump on me like that tell me first. You don't have to ask, just inform me. And when you want to wake me up with cuddles gently rouse me first. After I've said morning you can jump on me all you want. Sound fair?"

River nods and hums and I boop their nose,

"Words little love."

"Yes Dada."

I eskimo kiss them and then lean back again.

"Couple more things we need to talk about. But these are more intimacy related. Are you okay to talk about it?"

"Yes. I'm feeling better now so I'm okay to talk about it."

"What are your rules with touching your areas?"

"If I'm wearing a binder then treat my binder like my skin. The ones I have are more containment rather than constrictive, so they are safe to wear during. If it gets uncomfortable then I normally change it to a vest, but it remains on throughout. On days when I don't mind my chest I wear sports bras because I find them more comfortable, but they can come off during play time."

I nod and run my hand through their hair,

"What about the lower area? Do you have something you specifically call it? And I apologise for the next question, but do you have a hole preference?"

I shudder with the last question and River laughs lightly,

"Its my no-no square. Very generic I know but it makes me giggle. I like clitoral stimulation, both with hands and with oral. I will generally only ever do anal. There may be times, on special occasions that I do lady part stuff. And no, birthdays don't count as special days, so you are shit out of luck."

I full on laugh at the last statement and shuffle us down the bed so we are laying together. River starts drawing patterns on my chest with their nails.

"Does Daniel have specific rules for you? Both in little and big space?"

"hmmmm. Not really in big space. Aside from go to him if I need him and to not be alone if I start to spiral. In little space, I can't do the stairs by myself, cook or handle sharp knives."

River raises one of their legs up over my hips, so their thigh is pressing against my groin through the duvet. I freeze for a second and take a deep breath to try and curve the thoughts starting in my head.

"He also doesn't let me touch my no-no square without permission. But only in little space."

"Can I add a rule for big space?"

River looks up at me through their eyelashes again, the sight makes me want to roll my hips, but I refrain,

"Tell me when you touch yourself. You don't have to ask. It is your body and when you aren't submitting you are allowed to do whatever you like. But tell me if you touch yourself and if you cum. I like knowing."

They trail their hand up my chest and along my throat before stopping on my cheek,

"Then I guess I should tell you that I touched myself this morning while moaning your name."

I groan and roll us, so they are on their back underneath me.

"I'm butt ass naked and you're laying your juicy thighs all over my junk, looking up at me with 'fuck me eyes' and then you tell me you touched yourself while saying my name. Are you trying to fucking kill me?"

River giggles and brings my face down to theirs and presses their lips to mine, gently at first but soon the pressure increases. They thread their fingers into my hair, and I grip one of their thighs with my free hand, licking their bottom lip and sucking their tongue into my mouth when they open up for me. They whimper into my mouth and roll their hips, which causes the duvet to shift against me creating a pleasurable flicker of heat in me. Then they pull away,

"Lewis told me to come and get you because you haven't eaten since breakfast, and he wants to order pizza."

I take a deep breath and sigh before rolling off River and shuffling to the edge of the bed.

"Do you want me to wait for you to leave or are you okay with seeing me naked?"

"D...did I upset you?"

I turn back to look at them before crawling back over to them, this time above the duvet. They gulp as they look over me.

"Do I look upset baby?"

Their eyes have locked onto my dick that twitches and sways as I move before shaking their head.

"You slept through another conversation we had earlier. I suffer with hypersexuality. Sometimes I get so sexually frustrated that my entire body hurts. It also means it takes less to turn me on but a lot more to turn me off. I only had one orgasm this morning with Lewis, and then Daniel eye fucked the hell out of me, but we couldn't act on it because mental health. And now I've held your magnificent body against my while I explored that delectable mouth of yours. But Lewis is right. I need to eat. I don't want to regress back into issues which means we need to stop now."

I kiss their nose and then shuffle to the ottoman at the end of the bed before reaching for my joggers and putting them on. Living the grey joggers' fantasy right now as the outline of my cock shows through the material.

"Come love. We need to go."

River nods and follows me out of the room, taking my hand before we walk down the stairs. The others are all sat in the living room watching some house fix it show, they all look up as we walk round the sofa, Lewis smirking at my bulge, Slater gasping and going very red while Daniel takes a couple of deep breathes and beckons River to their spot in the corner. I sit down on one of the edge seats away from them all because I might just implode if any of them touch me. This house has become my sexual heaven AND my sexual hell.