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I'm left alone to tear myself apart

I'm left alone to tear myself apart

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Jisung was avoiding Hayun.

He came to the awful realisation that she must like him, he didn't know how though...they barely talked.

He was so aware of his surroundings now at the company, thinking she'd somehow be there at every turn he makes.

He thought about what Chenle said, he was right in the fact no other person has acted so outright and confident with him.

Even though Jisung had spoken to female idols and some trainees, it was different because they were more reserved and the conversation only happened when it needed to.

Now there was Hayun, he had began noticing her more frequently and his head told him to walk the other way. For one, he didn't like how she acted like they were close friends, two he didn't want to give her the wrong impression.

Did he make it seem like he was interested? How does any of this work...he had never been in this position before. What was he supposed to do?

Should he tell her to leave him alone?
Should he tell her in advance that he doesn't like her?

Renjun last night wondered if the new girl was doing okay, he voiced about his own experiences joining the group when it was already established.

Jisung could see his point but from his perspective, Hayun's emotions didn't seem so turbulent and she attended practice casually. He would see her strolling in with her headphones on and sometimes he would see her leaving in the same state.

In everyone's eyes Hayun was doing okay, she seemed fine.

Even though it would take a while to adjust, Hayun didn't get upset or visibly emotional during practices. From an outside point of view, she was pretty determined and headstrong.

It didn't seem like a lot would tear her down, even if she got scolded she didn't let it affect her.

That's what everyone else thinks, in reality Hayun was already tearing down.

It was pretty hard for her but she wasn't one to display it for others to see. Maybe that's why the others thought she was doing okay.

She didn't even fit in properly with the group and Hayun hadn't had much of a problem in her life with fitting in with others. She found it easy to just make friends and now she felt stuck in this situation.

Everytime she did try to hang out with them, she felt like she couldn't join in with the conversation because most of the time she wasn't there when things happened.

Hayun didn't know of the things they shared together like their memories or just gossip. Even though they didn't try to leave her out, Hayun had no idea who the other people in their lives are that they talk about.

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