sanity

09

sydney

i woke up only to hear laughs from downstairs.

i got out of my room and saw luke, robbie, calum, and ysabelle at the living room.

"good morning beautiful." luke said. i smiled.

"good morning syd." calum said.

"morning." i said groggily, with a little amount of enthusiasm.

robbie got up and hugged me.

"mommy, uncle calum said we're going to visit your friends again." he said.

i looked up and stared at the three of them.

"it's their death anniversary today, remember?" calum said.

i smiled weakly and returned my attention back to robbie.

"well then sweetie, why don't you back upstairs and take a bath now, okay?" i said.

he nodded and went upstairs.

"i'll take care of robbie for a while." i said. they nodded and i went upstairs.

***

my palms were wet.

and i was feeling nervous.

we stopped walking and tears were coming out of my eyes when we arrived at their grave.

robbie was left at the car with ysabelle. luke, calum, and i went here to visit them.

ysabelle suggested not to bring robbie with us since she knew how emotional i'd get when it comes to my friends.

i don't want my son to see me at my weakest.

"hey guys." calum said. luke placed the flowers on their grave and we lit candles for them.

"it's.. it's been a long time huh?" i started. it felt like talking to them before.

the only difference is that they weren't answering back.

we kept talking about what happened ever since the last time we visited them.

"i dreamt about you guys." i said.

i could feel luke and calum's stares at me. they didn't know anything about the dream.

"you were in our house, and we were catching up with our lives and..." i paused. i couldn't continue anymore.

i ended up crying instead.

luke rubbed my back and wiped my tears.

"it's alright syd. you can stop if you want." calum said.

after a few minutes, i calmed myself down, the silence around us was comforting.

but then i heard someone scream from afar.

i quickly stood up and my heart raced, and ran.

"sydney, wait!" i hear luke scream from behind me, and they ran after me.

"no!" was all i could scream out, and i felt so afraid, and i was hoping the one who screamed wasn't coming from the one who i thought it was coming from.

~ ;