1976

Chapter 2

After what seemed like hours of discussion with aunt Dineo, I concluded that not only is our country racist, but sexist too. Any vacancy referred to as a "man's job" is forbidden to women, even if you could get the job done. All a woman needs to know is how to cook, clean and be a caretaker to children around here. And God knows how long women have been doing that for. "What does Thato do?" I ask aunt Dineo from across the table, who's folding the clean laundry and packing them into the basket. "He's a gardener." She says, folding one of Senzo's T-shirts. There's a pause in conversation as I watch her go about her routine as she folds each item, one by one. And as I do, I think of what it would be like to work with Thato in the gardens when aunt Dineo catches me daydreaming and says, "No, you wouldn't survive a day as a gardener." Frowning, I turn to her. "How did you-" aunt Dineo shows a lazy smile and gives me a blunt look. "Nolwazi, you never liked being in the dirt. And you can't stand the smell of manure." I open my mouth as to argue back, but knowing she hit it right on the nail, I close my mouth and look away. She laughs softly and shakes her head, "you can't fool me, Lwazi. I know you too well" clearly, I think to myself.

As she gets to her feet, with the basket in her hands, aunt Dineo makes her way through the hallway and disappears, leaving me in the kitchen alone with my thoughts and frustrations. After a while, she appears from the hallway. "Why is everything so difficult for a black woman, aunt Dineo?" I ask in sheer frustration, and somewhat resentment to our government. She stands beside me and rubs my back, trying to comfort me and she's quiet for a moment, as though she too has asked that same question for years. "Your mother would ask the same question, my dear. But you know what? These struggles make you stronger, not weak. Remember that.". I nod as I take in the advice and she walks over to the sink, prepping to wash the dishes.

"I know a family you could work for" she says when drying the dishes. I look up from where I'm sweeping and look to her. "The family I work for during the week, the Mullers, I've been working for them for years and I overhead Mr Muller say he's going to fire me soon, seeing as I'm getting too old to work," her eyes downcast to the floor as her expression saddens at the memory. "You could take my place and start working for them?" Her gaze meets mine when there's a moment of silence and I look at her worriedly, feeling guilty for taking the only job she's ever had. "Are-are you sure?" I ask but she quickly dismisses the question and says "Don't, Lwazi. You need a job and we need the money..." she trails off and turns to the sink and begins to pack the dishes away. I nod curtly and continue to sweep the floor. Tomorrow I would start my job at the Mullers, and I can only pray I don't mess up and get fired on the first day.

Because it's Monday, the Mullers would be expecting aunt Dineo in about an hour. So here I am, the replacement, on a bus at the crack of dawn going to the inner city to formally introduce myself as their new maid. Sure, they probably won't be too happy to know that their previous maid quit before they could get the chance to fire her themselves, but also, they'd be satisfied to know that I saved them the trouble of finding another maid. "When you arrive at the city, look for a taxi that takes you through town and ask to get off at Killarney..." I replay this morning's coversation with aunt Dineo whilst looking out the window of the bus. She was more nervous than I was, constantly asking every five minutes if I had everything I needed, but it turns out a suitcase and my passbook is all I need to get me through town without any trouble.

Driving on the N12 freeway, the grey-blue sky stretches over kilometres of dirt roads and shacks of the townships and the snake-like formation of the road lamps light the way to a more, hopefully, optimistic place for new beginnings. Although it's only 6am, the bus is full of men and women on their way to work. Leaving behind their loved ones to take on the big city. Once they're in the city, they won't see their loved ones for weeks, maybe even months until they can afford the trip back home. I know this because Mama and Papa would wake Senzo and I up at this time to go with them to the bus station to see them leave. Uncle Jabu, aunt Dineo and Thato would have arrived there before us. I remember Senzo crying in my arms as I'd wave them goodbye, hoping they'd come back home within the same week. A week turned into two weeks, then a month...then two months. During their absence Senzo and I would live with uncle Jabu and his family. And although they were loving and caring, it made me crave my own parents' affection even more. Later on in life I had adjusted to their absence, and figured they would come home when they were ready to. I had learned to grow up during those times and told myself that some things just had to be done in order to survive in this country. And here I am in the same position, leaving behind the only family I have in order to make a living and well, survive I guess.

The bus turns onto the M1 and soon enough, I'm in the CBD and already I can see the drastic changes in settlement. For one, it's much sunnier here than it is in Soweto. There are a lot more roads and pavements, both of which are filled with citizens walking all over the streets and all kinds of vehicles each with their own purpose. The honking of delivery trucks and taxis fills the air and the chatter on the other side of my window adds to the commotion of an ordinary working day in the city. The bus stops at a taxi rank and the commotion is endless and I think take a deep breath...or a few. I get off the bus amongst the rest of the passengers and already they know where to go. I for one, find myself a little distracted by the city noise and the tall cream, beige and brown buildings that surround the taxi rank. But with no time to lose, I look for a taxi. At the moment, it's rush hour so everybody's in a hurry to get to where they need to be, hence the constant pushing and shoving. But there's a certain fear to the way everybody's moving, as though they have everything to lose if they don't make it to work on time.

I find a taxi and get on it. Although I'm squished between other passengers, I'm curious to see what Killarney looks like as I look out of the window and sneak in a few glances, but after passing the streets of the inner city, more and more passengers get off at their stops and after a while, I'm left alone. We've been driving for a while when from my Window, I see the location sign that reads Killarney and I can feel the nerves kicking in. What if they don't like me and fire me before I even start working? But my miniature nervous breakdown is interrupted when I notice various large apartment blocks that appear more polished than the run downed ones in the inner city. The streets are spotless without a wrapper in sight. We drive past several parks, and the grass is greener, the trees form umbrella shapes with vast areas of shade available. Children are running around, and caretakers sit on benches as they chat to one another and guard the children. Though I wasn't surprised by the 'Europeans' , 'Blankes' and 'Non-Blankes' only benches. The taxi comes to a halt and I'm brought to his attention that we've arrived. I look out the window to my right and there is a massive shopping mall built, with people going in and out. "This is the farthest I go. Goodluck." The driver says. I get off the taxi and come around to his window to pay him to which I respond with "Thank you" and off he goes.

I drop my suitcase onto the pavement as I take in the massive mall and the neighbouring apartment blocks, wondering how I'm going to find the Muller's home. A thought runs through my brain and immediately I look for the piece of paper aunt Dineo gave me. Remembering where I placed it, I reach into my breast pocket of my dress and pull the valuable piece of paper out. Written on it is the address of the Muller's apartment building. With only a few minutes before 7am, I'm rushing to find the apartment building. A maid with a white child by her side are walking towards me and immediately I stop them, desperate to find my way to the apartment building. She frowns at my sudden intrusion of her walk and takes the paper from my hand. Reading it, she turns and points to the apartment building at the corner of the street. I nod and say "Thank you" and rush to the building. I rush through the double glass doors and look for the reception. A white woman sits behind her desk, organising paperwork when I approach her. When she notices my presence, she rolls her eyes at me and bluntly says "What?", I'm taken aback by her rudeness but give her the paper anyway. "Fourth floor, then to your left." She says and hands me back the paper. She points to something behind me, I turn around and see she's pointing at the staircase. I turn back to her, nod and I'm rushing up the stairs.

When I've reached the fourth floor, I'm out of breath from speeding up the stairs, skipping two steps at a time to get here. I look at my paper for the apartment number: number four, to the left, my mind recalls and I turn left into a long corridor with large glass windows on the left. The view overlooks the park below across the building and other apartment blocks beyond the park. The massive evergreen gardens along the other apartment blocks and the scattered jacaranda trees creates a botanical atmosphere in the suburb and I imagine myself sitting on a bench, soaking up the sun. Focus! My mind snaps me back to the moment. I turn around, and there's the door with a bold number '4' engraved on It. I take a deep breath and walk forward, trying to subside the nerves that are building up rapidly. I bring up my hand, deciding to knock, but somebody beats me to it when the door suddenly swings open, and there stands a beautiful fair-skinned woman wearing black mid-heels, a royal blue pencil skirt and a white blouse. I look up to her face and her pale-like complexion contrasts with the red bold lipstick...but it's her ice cold blue eyes that bring chills up my spine. Oh Lord...