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Chapter Thirty-Five (Repost)

If eyes could speak, Hers would speak of extreme anxiety. She took several slow breaths to calm her anxious spirit. Her reflection in the mirror only seemed to view herself more stagnant and nervous.

The day of the trial was upon them, or rather, in her lonesome state, upon her. The last time she ever felt this anxious, this scared, was the day she first sang in the church choir. Her mother whispered to her how brave and bold she was for singing in front of people, as opposed to singing to her parents and brother in their little home; just as the choir assembled before their performance. She remembered almost singing out of tune because she couldn't hear anything but the thunderous beat of her heart, but it was the proud look on her mother's face that gradually drowned out her fears and nerves. suddenly she felt calm again, a wave washing out all the doubt and all the fear she felt; and as her mind calmed down, so did her body and her voice carried her through effortlessly. The memory was still fresh in her mind and she yearned to feel that safe again, anything to calm her shaking spirit.

Knock, knock.

She knew he was at her door, wanting to check on her; She told him it was open. His footsteps grew louder as he closed in on her. His gentle hands took hold of her, their eyes did not meet just yet.

"You didn't come to bed last night..." his voice echoed and only then did she meet his evergreen gaze in the mirror. A tight-lipped smile and a shrug were all she could communicate. Henri sighed deeply, the anxiety weighed on him too.

"Hey," he said, turning her to face him. The look in his eyes begged her to talk to him so she wouldn't feel alone. "Don't shut me out now, not when we need each other the most." Henri knew something wasn't right when she didn't come to bed last night. The last few weeks with her had been the most intimate he'd ever been with anyone. touching her felt so natural to him now, and her to him. They couldn't be apart for too long or it would give them withdrawal. And Henri was beginning to worry about Nowlazi's emotional blockade.

"I'm scared." Her voice wasn't void of her nerves but nor was it certain of how today would turn out.

"I know, I'm scared too." He said, gently brushing his fingers through her low pony tailed hair. Many of the women here kept their hair neat and tidy because it seemed "appropriate" for the workplace, but not Nolwazi. She wore her hair free and unapologetically, especially when they made love, and Henri loved that about her. But today she needed to look "presentable and trustworthy", as the Lawyer had mentioned to her yesterday, which made Nolwazi even more unsure of herself. But the Lawyer explained that having her hair loose would make her look radical and rebellious, therefore looking untrustworthy to the jury. But in her opinion, she was immediately viewed untrustworthy just by the color of her skin.

Even now as she pulled the strands of her curls, He could tell she had a lot of doubt about how today would play out. "Listen, you're prepared. Mr. Burger has prepared you for the toughest questions they could possibly ask you and you've responded accordingly..." He searched her eyes, but she averted her eyes. "If you stick to what you've practiced, things should go well. I know you'll do well."

"Yeah, You're right." She looked up to him with a more relaxed smile, her shoulders slowly releasing tension in them. "I just...want to do right by your mother." She said, her eyes began to tear up. "After what she did for me, I owe her that much." Henri brushed a tear away and pulled her in for a hug.

"And you will." He said, caressing her in his warm embrace. His hugs always made Nolwazi feel safe and calm. A knock on the door interrupted them and shortly Ouma Sonja appeared. She came forward and hugged Nowlazi, "You'll do well, my skat. i know it." she pulled back and smiled at her. Sonja turned to Henri, "The Lawyer is downstairs. Are you ready?" she asked him and he nodded, signaling their departure. Soon they left and Nolwazi alone in the apartment, she would meet them in court shortly.