Caged Bird | ✔

Chapter Four

I worked a 9 to 5 kind of job like many other people, yet every day I went home feeling more exhausted than ever. Being Mr Cross's assistant was a typical example of working hard and not smart

The job entailed of endless amounts of notes that I had to take in every meeting, only to refresh Mr Cross on the important bits of information of those hourly long meetings. Studio sessions that could go on all night because of a deadline, artists having 'special requests' and refusing to work without said request normally become my problem as well

But I didn't mind, because while it seemed to be taking and draining everything from me, I went home every night to my mostly empty home with the familiar dull ache in my bones called; exhaustion

An ache that I welcomed every time it came around

Forget what anyone says, exhaustion is far better than any medication you could take to help you fall sleep

I did not live alone; I lived with my stepfather Michael, whom my mom married when she was two months pregnant with me. Michael was the only father I ever knew. Mom passed away when I was 15 years old, and Michael never remarried. And that's how at 25, I was still living with my dad. It isn't that I couldn't afford to move out. Rather it was one of dads rules that kept me there; no moving out until you're married

And I wasn't planning on getting married any time soon

For as long as I've known Michael he has always been very catholic, and he insisted that anyone who lived under his roof, lived a catholic lifestyle

This rule didn't only apply to me and my mom, but Michaels kids as well; Ethan, Charlie, Will and Cassie.

My step siblings

The youngest was Cassie who was 8 years older than me Will being 13 years older than me, Charlie 17 years older and Ethan 18

Because of the huge age gap, I was not really close with any of them, they always did things together, like snuck out, and went to parties, and drank their first bottle of alcohol together. And I was there weird infant sister that they were forced to look after as Michael wasn't interested in raising another child and my mom had never been interested in having kids in the first place

Mom had me when she was 43 years old, she had gone her whole life without looking after kids, and she wasn't about to start looking after one now

When I eventually got old enough to hang out with my siblings, most of them had already moved out of the house and were staring new lives

They never kept in touch with me, which I understood, I understood that maybe they harbored this resentment towards me after having to look after a kid they didn't create

Growing up there was many times I wish mom wouldn't have had me, that she had gotten an abortion instead, just so that I wouldn't have had to live a life where I felt so lonely all of the time

I have not seen most of my siblings in years now, I know Ethan moved to Portland where he lives with his wife and four kids, he works in finance and his wife Annabeth in marketing

Then Charlie; she's a successful interior designer who also lives in Portland with her dog, she had been married to a man named Jericho who she divorced a year into the marriage

Will enlisted in the army when he was 19 and I haven't seen him since. The only one of my siblings whom I actually still keep in touch with is; Cassie

Cassie lives ten minutes from dads place, she lives with her girlfriend Sue, who is now 6 weeks pregnant, Cassie is the only one that checks on me out of my siblings, and time to time provides me with details on our siblings whenever she has any details on them

I see Cassie every week on a Sunday for lunch at Monroe's, because dad says he does not want her to step foot in his house ever again

As you can imagine Cassie being unmarried and gay did not go down well with him, nor the fact that she moved out without his permission.

When I get home, Dad's car is not in the driveway, and it's fairly late, he is the only other person I know with a demanding job. I let myself in and hang my key on the hook

I take of my heels, grabbing the shoe by the stiletto before pulling it off, and when my feet makes flattens against the cold flat ground I nearly moan from the feeling

My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I have not eaten since lunch today; I glance at the time seeing if there is still enough time for me to order a pizza

Nope, there is not

I rummage the fridge for anything to eat, and all I can find is half of a cucumber, and in the pantry a bag of pretzels

An hour later, I am in bed, with my alarm set for 5am tomorrow morning, suitcases that I had pulled from the attic on my way to my bedroom strewn on the floor

I close my eyes, succumbing to sleep, the last thoughts on my mind of packing bags for New York