Caged Bird | ✔

Chapter Forty Three

I thought that by convincing William to let me into his room I would have learnt something in there, seen something – anything

Instead, I was met with a whole lot of nothing

His room said less about him, than him, - and that was saying something

I had taken the opportunity to raid his room seeing that William had left some time in the morning. I presumed for another one of his 'errand days'. So I began my search first rifling through his cupboard's, then his dresser, - but there was nothing.

This was not an exaggeration. There was nothing in his room, nothing of relevance.

Of course, like any cupboard, there were clothes and shoes lined up neatly at the bottom, and in the dresser, I found the like

But otherwise that was about it, there wasn't even pennies at the bottom of his draws due to having fallen out of trousers whilst they were in there

I don't know what I was expecting to find; a murder weapon? Keys to a vehicle?

I am sure if William had known any of those things were in there he probably would not have let me into his room in the first place

Defeated, I climbed back onto his bed, and lay in the center, stretching my arms and legs out so that my body resembled the shape of a starfish.

I lift my hand and trace my bottom lip absentmindedly, thinking of the night before and what we had done, and then how after I fell asleep William like clockwork had these riveting night terrors

The kind where he would toss for several hours, keeping me out of sleep, and he would wake up with his shirt and pajama pants matted to his body as a result of the sweat

Now I have seen my fair share of movies where when the guy who has nightmares, starts to see a girl, and after them spending a significant amount of time together he miraculously doesn't have any nightmares after that. Or alternatively, he still has them, but every night when he has them, she wakes him up, and then she comforts him and cuddles him, and it is all romantic and cute

Movies have really messed up my views on what is supposed to be deemed normal and what is not

Either way, like all else with William, nothing was even close to relatively normal. Instead, Williams's nightmares probably scared me more than it did him

By now I have slept overnight in his bed a number of times, it was the most couple-like thing I had ever done in my entire life, without the person who I had been sleeping with either slipping out of my bed, or nudging me awake and urging me to leave before anyone sees me

Which was why this small act of sharing a bed together, despite all the other abnormalities of my situation, - I thought that my first time sharing a bed with someone for more than just two days would be different

The night would always start off the same; William would put of the light and then climb into bed next to me, and I would always doze off first, but be the one to wake up first because of him

Initially when I had first come to learn of his nightmares, it had started off as muttering. As him muttering inaudible things, where I had tried to wake him up, but he never woke. I figured he was in too deep a sleep, and by the look on his face, whatever he was seeing or talking to was frightening enough that I had gotten second hand fear

If that was even a thing

It was a different kind of fear to see someone experiencing some sort of inner turmoil and you were equally as afraid of them in that moment as well as whatever lay behind their eyes