Caged Bird | ✔

Chapter Thirty Two

There are many quotes that one might find on the internet. Quotes pertaining to the fact of getting exactly what you want, whenever you want it

The most common phenomena in all of these quotes is that in order to get exactly what you want, you need to want it badly enough, -

What a big fat joke that was

I had wanted out, really and truly wanted out, wanted freedom -

However, freedom did not want me

Maybe my mistake was not scanning my surroundings to look for a road when I had just step foot outside the cabin. maybe what I should have done was used my brain and any semblance of common sense I had in me to look for a pathway or tire tracks that could have lead to a road, - which in turn would lead to civilization, people, help - anything

Maybe I should have taken the knife on the counter, or had gone to get shoes before walking out into the literal forest

Maybe I should have done many things differently, but I had not

Instead, what I had done was; run. I ran barefoot with a variety of sharp and natural objects damaging and blistering the soles of my feet, I ran with nothing but fear and adrenaline keeping me going, no sense of direction, no plan, no nothing; just a whole lot of stupidity

Not to mention everything looked different yet exactly the same

My experience and knowledge on rainforests was practically nonexistent, my expertise on the matter stemmed from the one hike I had been on in my whole entire life

A hike I went on with Cassie and Sue, and some of Cassie's college friends. We had journeyed up the mountain where Michael, - one of Cassie's friends said there was a waterfall at the very top, so we had followed the stream of water all the way up, and used the water as a compass to come back down the mountain again

There was no stream of water now; the only moisture was certain muddier areas I found myself traipsing in, and some mulch

Incase it's not so evidently and incontestably clear; I never acquired my freedom that day

Had I known that when I stepped outside of that cabin, thinking that I would never return back to that cabin and to him, I probably would not have left

After the realization hit me that I was naïve into thinking I could run blindly long enough that I would find help of some sort, the adrenaline and apprehension that had kept me fueled for so long started wearing off quickly

My legs felt like they weighed fifteen times more than they actually did and my legs had actually begun to wobble when I walked, my lower back had adopted this indescribable pain, whilst my body begged for some sort of nutrition and nourishment, - especially after having been put through such extraneous physical labor for hours on end

I need to keep moving, the more I moved, the more distance I put between me and him

The sky was pitch black, it had been at least for a couple of hours, but I had no way of telling what time it was. I could not really see anything, at this point; the night was only illuminated by the stars and moon that peeked through the leaves of the trees. When I had been moving all of the elements around me like the darkness and the strange sounds that I heard from god knows what, didn't bother me, but the moment I sat down perched against a tree, with my knees tucked under my chin I became aware of all the other many ways that I could possibly die

I took in a shaky breath, and leant my head against the tree behind me

Just a few minutes, and then you need to keep moving again