Caged Bird | ✔

Chapter Twenty Five

I wonder if Cassie is looking for me. If there are flyers pasted on every notice board at every public library, police department and church alerting people of my disappearance, if the authorities are searching for me? if dad is worried –

Who am I kidding dad was probably overjoyed that I was gone, because it meant that he wouldn't have to be reminded of how embarrassed he was to have me as a step kid

A week had passed, and every day I woke up in the same bed; a bed that was mine but not quite mine; optimistic that any day now Cassie might burst through that door and take me Into her arms and say how happy she was to have found me. And that the man that had brought me here would never lay a hand on me again whether I be unconscious or conscious

It had been easy to imagine that at the beginning, however, the more time passed, the less optimistic I felt about her finding me.

Truthfully I was not trying as hard as I could to escape, - not because I did not want to, but because I was so genuinely terrified of him.

When I was alone I would plot out what I would do, how when he got close enough to me I would head-butt him, or kick him in his groin or do anything that might get me closer to escaping, but I didn't. Instead, i did absolutely nothing, and i did not even try to fight for my freedom.

For every time he was not around my subconscious would somehow convince me that I was much stronger than I am, and that I was capable of getting out of here. Yet every time he would step into the room either holding a tray or alerting me that it was time for me to bathe, - reality would sink in and my body would shake with such fear that getting my body to respond to a simple command like breathing felt like the most difficult thing in the world to do

My inability to put everything I have into getting out of here irritated me, and I knew the longer I did nothing, the more the possibility of me being here longer than I wanted to be increased

You do not know this man, neither what he is capable of – seemed to be a recurring thought in my head

Which was why my best bet was Cassie stepping through that door

It was difficult to keep track of the days that passed, especially because I did not have any access to any sort of calendar, the only thing I did have access to was the alarm clock. So I kept track of how much time was passing me by, by counting the hours as well as how many times he frequented my room which to date was four times a day

Every day like clockwork, he entered. Bringing me either meals or informing me that it was time for me to go to the bathroom

I did not care much for the food, but I always ate quickly, because after my first initial refusal to eat the food he had left, and then the second. – I remember after that day that he had instructed me to eat the food and I had not, he had entered into my room and eyed the second plate of uneaten food before making his way over to me

I was so afraid that he would follow up on his threat of feeding me that I reached for the food quickly and took a bite

Then I took another bite and another. And him being evidently pleased, he had sat down and watched me eat every last little bite before leaving

So now when meals came, I ate them quickly, because the quicker I did, the quicker he left me alone

On the rare occasion, I tried asking questions to try to gain more information about why I was here, but truthfully, this did not happen often because my terror seemed to be a common denominator in every one of his visits

Once a day, I would go to the shower as well, he said I could let him know whenever I wanted to use the toilet, but I never asked to, how degrading it is to need to ask someone to use the toilet every time you need to relieve yourself.