modern family | vanessa delgado

Good Cop, Bad Dog

Today, I'm going to hang out with Haley. We'll be going to the mall later after she drops Alex off at the movie theater. They're actually really cool to be with. When they're not fighting, of course. 

And they are, but not to each other. 

It's because our stupid little brothers walked in on us while changing. Haley let me borrow her clothes to wear for today since she borrowed mine the last time. I can borrow her jacket while she can borrow a top of mine.

Now, all of us are having a screaming match at each other.

"No more fighting! No more fighting!" Claire yells at us. " For the rest of your lives, you are not allowed to yell at each other!"

"But you're allowed to yell at us?" Alex counters the hypocrisy with her arms crossed.

"Good point." I mutter.

"Yes, Alex, I am, because I feed you and I clothe you and I pay the mortgage." Claire defends herself.

"Pretty sure ole Dad deserves a shout-out right about now." Phil walks up the stairs to the bedrooms.

"Phil!" Claire hissed.

"Sorry. Should've taken the temperature of the room first," He apologized. "What's up?"

"Well, I'm dealing with a lot of high dr-"

"Luke and Manny barged into our room while we were changing, the little pervs!" Haley interrupts her mother.

"Can I just say, in Europe this would be no big deal." Manny says.

I scoff at that statement. "It won't be gross to walk in on your sister changing?! No matter what it is a big deal in the United States!"

"Except in Alabama," Luke randomly says which causes us to give weird looks at him. "You can see me in my underwear whenever you want. Here, I'll make it even."

Then - oh, god - Luke starts to unzip his pants, so he can show off his underwear.

All of us immediately stop him, being grossed out and disturbed.

"Luke, keep your pants on, okay?!" Claire tells him. "And, girls, stop getting so hysterical over everything! Come on! Now, grow up a little! I need things to start changing around here, or I will change things, okay? There will be no more TV and no internet and no whatever else I can think of."

While she was rambling all of that stuff, it's like Phil is silently saying the opposite like he loves them or something weird.

"May I have a word with you, Phil?" Of course, Claire catches onto what her husband is messaging us, and grabs his hand to pull him into the bathroom.

"I'd rather not..." Phil replies uncomfortably, and I'm sure he's dreading to have a talk with her.

When Claire closes the door, the rest of us just stand there, looking awkwardly at each other, unsure of what to do next. So, we decide to go downstairs, and just wait for them.

"Goodbye, we will be back in a few hours." Haley says as she and Alex gets their keys. 

"Woah, woah," Claire stops us. "Where are you guys going?"

"I am taking Alex to the movies and then me and Vanessa are going to the mall."

"Fun, doesn't that sound like fun, Phil?" She turns around to her husband who is eating cereal from the box.

"I'm not much of a shopper, but it would depend on the-" He suddenly stops herself, and I think Claire is quietly telling him something. I don't know. They're both acting very weird today. "Oh! Uh, girls," He approaches his daughters. "How about you clean up your bathroom before you go today, huh? It would really help your Mom out."