Kissed By The Moon

CHAPTER 23: Distance

Dear Readers,

This is a very short chapter (to make up, I'll post 2 chapters tomorrow), and sorry for not posting yesterday, it was Election Day and I was so nervous about potential violence that I forgot it was Wednesday._. (also I was doing my nails).  xx Moonshine

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No shit

I already figured that I'd be the Selene, I just didn't think I'd transform into this creature. How can I even stand before my pack looking like this without terrifying them? I begin to wonder how strong I'd be in human form, maybe strong enough for me to not have to shift when fighting wolves. I ponder this for some time, trying to find a way to navigate this new form, this new me. This form that I can't seem to shift out of just yet.

As I lay there, I sense a presence near me. I don't move because I already know who it is. It's not who I'd hoped for, but I don't mind this intrusion either.

What the fuck!

Brie exclaims via mind link. Regina, her wolf, approaches me. She doesn't hesitate, she doesn't cower, she doesn't even do a double take. She looks the part of unfazed, but I can sense her fear. I know she's afraid, but she's the afraid of heights but goes on roller coasters anyway type. Says she doesn't need to conquer a fear, she simply needs to train herself to do things in spite of it. The 'if it's scary, do it scared' type.

Don't.

I warn, hoping she keeps her distance. This is a new form to me, I don't know how I'll respond.

Stop being so dramatic.

She responds, standing before me and observing for a bit.

Okay, stand up, let's see all of you!

She instructs. I hesitate, but decide it's easier to relent. Besides, I can sense that she's no longer afraid, just more curious.

I get up and tower over Regina whose eyes rise slowly taking in my full form.  I spoke too soon, she's back to being afraid.

Holy shit, Eres!

I can sense your fear. Eres responds to Brianna's shock.

Who cares about my fear, what about Amari's?

Brie snaps back. Despite how imposing Eres is, Brie has never been the type to run and hide.

Eres pauses then lies back down. We both know why Brie is asking. The last time I was afraid of Eres, things didn't go so well. I will admit that I was afraid at first. But then I'm more familiar with Eres now than I was before so I just talked to her. She's surprised by the change too. She didn't think it would be this dramatic, nor did she think it would scare our mate.

We have never felt this powerful nor have we ever felt this dangerous, and until Brie got all up in our personal space, we weren't even sure if we were safe to be around.

It's okay, I'm not scared.

Venus studies me briefly and seems satisfied with what she sees. She slumps down next to me and we just lie there. Memories of our childhood flash through my head.

Brianna and I had this spot and Denzel wasn't allowed to know about it. It frustrated him to no end, which amused Brie and I because we all had our own spots. Brie and Denny had one that I didn't know about, and I had one with Denny that Brie didn't know. It helped during fights, we'd just go to the spot we had with the person we were mad at and sort it out there. When Brie had trouble with her parents she'd come here, and this is where she found me the day it was decided that I had to leave.

Now here we are, six years later, at this same spot, completely different people to who we used to be. Soon to be Alpha and soon to be Beta of Silver Moon, in the midst of dealing with a looming threat and navigating a latent puberty within me. We have our mates and our destinies ahead of us, yet we're here, hiding. Well at least I am.

I wish my memories brought me back to simpler times, but it seems I never had those. Nothing about my life has ever been simple. From the day I was born until this moment, and it appears my life will never be simple. If this prophesy is true, then I'm supposed to instigate something and I know that it will complicate my life so much more.

I mean, look at me, I'm a weapon. Why would I be morphed into this if fighting wasn't going to consume my life. I don't even know if I want to drag Charlotte into all this. I mean, I was training her all this time, for what? Abductions? Battles? War? I was teaching her to fight for her life because that's all I've ever had to do, and now I see that it's all I was ever built for.

Don't get me wrong, I can do it if I have to, but she shouldn't have to just because misfortune mated her to me. She deserves a peaceful life and an uncomplicated love, but now there isn't anything either of us can do about it. We are forever bound to each other. She's forever bound to this chaos that my life is and will apparently always be.

It's frustrating. I don't really know what I should do now. She looked so terrified of me.  It seemed, to her, that for the first time, she was seeing what being with me was really like. We had romanticised it with the diaries and the secret entries. We had gotten caught up in a fantasy but the reality of the situation isn't all that fun. Something is coming. Something is going to happen, and I have a role to play in all of it.

I make a note to focus on that.  Because if Char cannot stand to be around me, then I will give her the space she needs, but I can't stop. I can't run away like I did. I need to embrace whatever is coming. I need to embrace the monster I have become and use this new form to strengthen my pack, to protect my loved ones and to fulfil whatever destiny has in store for me.

How benevolent and self-sacrificial. I let out a sigh and tun over. I can't sleep at all, but Venus is fast asleep next to me. She looks so at peace and I feel like it would be worth it. To live for my people, so they have more nights of peace, even if I can't. Even if I hardly ever have them. Even if every now and again I wake up from nightmares of me with blood on my hands and the pained screams for mercy.

My meeting with Desirée is in a few days, so at least I know that everything will start making sense quite soon.