Love, Life, And Lies- Regulus Black

.darkness claims all.

"a loss is not always a lesson. sometimes it's just a tragedy."

I woke the next morning to the cold. Everything was freezing. The ground, my body, my soul. It felt like the bitterest of winter mornings had engulfed me. My muscles were frozen stiff, and my eyes were so swollen from crying that I could hardly see.

But the agony was still there. A fierce anguish that had wedged its way deep inside of me. It felt as if all of the light had been extinguished from my life. As if a part of me had died with Regulus, leaving a gaping hole in my chest that only he had ever been able to fill.

I didn't know what to do. Didn't know who to turn to. I was lost in a dark abyss, flailing blindly, grasping for something- anything to ease the sorrow.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the wall, clutching desperately the scarf Kreacher had brought me. I couldn't force myself to move.

I had been in that dark abyss before. But not like this. This was agony. This was anguish. It was too cold and too hot all at once. It was the overbearing pain of grief, and the empty, cold feeling of being numb.

I wanted to let the darkness claim me. Wanted to feel it's inky tendrils wrap around me and pull me into a place where there was no more pain. I didn't want to live. I couldn't live without him.

I wanted to succumb to that feeling, to that weight pulling me down. But something in my chest snapped. Something that forced me to my feet, and had me apparating to the only place I knew I could get help.

Snow crunched the second my feet made contact with the road. I pulled my cloak tight around my shoulders, shivering at the chill in the air. Hogsmeade was freezing. It was covered in fluffy snow, as if a blizzard had just torn through the town. It was picturesque, beautiful even. If it had been another time, I might have stopped to stare in wonder at the little ice crystals that gleamed in the harsh sunlight. It all might have been so lovely. But I couldn't feel it deep inside of me. There was no beauty left in the world.

I made my way up the long cold path to the start of the Hogwarts grounds. I pounded on the iron gates, screaming for Professor Dumbledore, my voice was hoarse from sobbing relentlessly the night before.

No one came right away. But I knew that there were spells woven into the wards that would alert someone to my presence. So I kept pounding. Kept yelling. I am sure I sounded half crazed, and looked as if I had just escaped an insane asylum.

Unfortunately, the castle was large, and it took a while for someone to get out to the gates. I was so cold by the time they swung open. So cold that I could hardly force myself to put one foot in front of the other.

I was met at the gate by Professor McGonnagall. Her sharp eyes took in my haggard appearance, her lips were pressed into a thin line.

"Ms. Rosier," she greeted, giving me a curt nod.

"I need to see Professor Dumbledore." I explained quickly, trying to keep the talking to a minimum.

"I don't think-." She started.

"He would want to see me." I cut her off quickly.

She eyed me quizzically, the feather on her green hat bobbing in the chilly wind.

"Please." I added, sensing her reluctance.

Finally she agreed, and gestured for me to follow her down the hallway.

"Cassiopeia, are you well?" She asked when we were halfway to Professor Dumbledore's office. There was a worried kindness to her voice that made me want to sob.