¤It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.
The love, life, and lies of Cassiopeia Vulpecula Rosier
"The Dark Lord took a particular interest in me I couldn't have escaped his service if I had tried....
...I must apologize, for I...
.to live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
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The remainder of the term passed quicker than I could ever have imagined. Spring faded as June arrived, and by the end of the month, it had grown uncommonly hot.
I felt as if a thin layer of sweat covered me constantly. The castle, for all of its magical abilities, had never been great at regulating temperature. It was cold in the winter, and dreadfully hot in the summer.
And being hugely pregnant did not help matters.
The world had been quiet. A type of unnerving silence that always existed before a massive storm. For several weeks, the headlines had been free of any murders. People didn't know whether to rejoice, or to be even more terrified by the psychological waiting game.
Not only had the world been quiet, so had the Dark Lord's communications with me. Since our last meeting, I had received a single a missive that directed me to stay at Hogwarts for the summer and continue to glean any information I could from Dumbledore.
But that had been weeks ago, and silence that came after was absolutely dreadful.
More concerning was the fact that I had not heard a single word from Severus. I felt like I was in the dark. Ignorant to what was going on around me. And for someone who had always been central to the Dark Lord's plans before, it was unnerving.
I was grateful for the little bubble of safety the school granted me. But not knowing what was going on was worse than anything. I felt useless.
But I wasn't the only one the silence seemed to unnerve. The Ministry was also worried. Dumbledore revealed as much.
They also suspected that this was just the calm before the storm. The Dark Lord was preparing, they knew it, we all knew it, and so they would as well. Their plan of combat was announced in the Daily Prophet several days after the term ended.
"Fight to Kill Order Initiated"
It seemed Barty Crouch was not taking any chances with the Death Eaters anymore. By order of the Ministry, all Death Eaters were to be killed on sight. There would be no more trying to bring them in for imprisonment. It was an extermination order, and a dangerous one at that.
The identities of most Death Eaters were largely unknown to the Ministry. That simple fact alone made a Kill Order risky and dangerous. There was just no way to be sure you were actually killing a Death Eater and not your next door neighbor.
I didn't think he was necessarily wrong to establish such a harsh sentence, but did seem hard to regulate.
My identity was the most at risk, as all of the Dark Lord's followers knew who I was. If any of them talked, my head would certainly be one of the first on the chopping block.
I shared my fear with Dumbledore, and he advised me to stay near the castle when I could. For the most part, I followed his recommendation. But the days in the castle were long and long unbearably hot. And one could only spend so much time preparing lessons for the following year.
