Spotlight ☆ | minsung

☆12☆

Minho walked until his legs hurt. He had no idea where he was until he saw a sign he recognized.

He had walked to the cemetery.

At the entrance of the place, his feet took control, taking him through a path he knew all to well, a path he had walked one too many times. Before he knew it he was in front of his mother's grave.

At the sight, he couldn't help but break down, kneeling and curling over himself with a body shaking and twitching from the sobs he let out unwillingly.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I'm sorry." he apologized between cries. What else could he do when everything he felt was guilt?

When his mind kept telling him how bad of a person he was, unworthy of anyone's love. When his only thought was how he should have died in that car accident instead of his mother.

"I should be dead. I should be dead, not you. I'm so sorry." he kept on repeating.

He hated himself so much. He hated how he made people worry because of how he never talked about how he really felt. He hated that he really couldn't do it even if he tried. He hated how he had made the boy he likes uncomfortable and how he probably wouldn't want to see his stupid face ever again. He hated how he couldn't get his own best friend's trust but what he hated more is that he deserved it, because everything Felix had said was right.

He didn't notice a pair of arms hugging his body until he heard over his own cries the sobs of his best friend, who was also kneeled down next to him, embracing him and crying too.

"Don't say things like that, Min." cried the freckled boy. "Please don't say you should be dead."

"But, Lix, it's true." answered the red haired boy, sobbing harder. "You wanted me to tell you what I'm feeling? Then that's how I feel. I want to be dead."

Felix hugged his best friend tighter, suffering with every word Minho spoke, breaking with every sob Minho let out.

"Felix, I hate myself so much and I don't know what to do anymore! With every passing day it gets worse and now that I even fucked up with Jisung and you I can't even stand to hear my stupid fucking voice!"

The freckled boy squeezed Minho tightly, crying like a little kid with the urge to help his best friend but the inability to do so.

"Everyone would be better off if I just died, even me. It doesn't even matter because I'm not enough, I'll never be. Not for you, not for my father or Jisung or anyone, so it's not that big of a loss." the red haired boy lifted his head to look at Felix and smiled apologetically, receiving a devastated gaze.

"That's not true, and I'm so sorry for making you feel that way. You'll always be enough, Minho, even if you're not ready to talk to me about how you feel. I was a stupid jerk for forcing you to do so and I'm really sorry. It wasn't your fault." Felix explained, trying to calm down to be able to comfort his best friend better. "And I'm sure Jisung isn't mad at you, we'll just have to go and apologize to him for what we did at his house. But it'll be okay, I promise."

The red haired boy nodded his head, allowing himself to trust his best friend's words even a little bit. "I shouldn't have snapped like that at you, I was also a jerk." Minho said.

"Yeah, but I was a bigger one." the freckled boy left out a soft cuckle between sobs. "I'm really sorry, Min. I love you so, so much. Please don't say you want to be dead again." the blonde couldn't help but break down into a cry when pronouncing the last sentence.

"I'm sorry too." and for the first time since Felix had first wrapped his arms around Minho, the boy hugged back, sinking his head into the crook of his best friend's neck and crying there for a while.