LETTERS TO MY BELOVED PRISONER

Part 15

From: Kruno Matas 

To: Roko Jurcevic 

Destination: Remetinec prison, Zagreb, Croatia 

May 3rd 

Dear Roko... 

I mean, you know me well enough to know that I won't be able to cut contact with you just like that. I have read your letters multiple times; I could feel the honesty when you were telling me about your past. I am grateful you were finally being true to yourself. Please, don't ever lie to me again. Because I would support you no matter what. As long as you're open and honest with me, like this time. And I knew you couldn't be hetero from the moment I saw you on the TV. Although I must say I felt a little bit jealous over the love story you had with the late Marin. But those are my issues, my insecurities, nothing to do with you. 

I choose to believe you when you say you stopped taking cocaine. As I told you already, I don't mind going out of my way to help you, but just not with this. You don't need that crap, that's for weak people, like my brother. 

I am so furious at Silvija for ruining your life. She will also ruin your kids, I am sure. I cannot stand the injustice committed to you. She killed Marin and manipulated you into turning in. She deserves to pay for all she's done to you. 

By the way, I have a big news regarding my life. Someone from my town found out I was the person you were sending letters to. So the rumors came to my parents as well. The other day, my father and my brother went through my personal things while I was working. They found all of your letters that I was saving as a memory. My dad wanted to send me away, but my mom intervened. The whole town is talking behind my back now. But I don't care about them. I never really cared. What worries me more is the hostile environment at home. My father, my brother, even my mother... They are so homophobic. 

I feel so alone... Nobody is with me. People are using every opportunity to attack and insult me. I am no longer going out of the house......and I quit my job. That's it, I am now officially unemployed. I already started looking for a job in Zagreb, to be closer to you. 

And guess what? I already found a place to live in Zagreb! It's a bit pricey, but I have some savings that I will use before landing on a job there. 

We will finally be able to see each other more often! 

Can't wait to see you again... 

Kruno