LETTERS TO MY BELOVED PRISONER

Part 20

From: Kruno Matas 

To: Roko Jurcevic 

Destination: Remetinec prison, Zagreb, Croatia 

June 20th 

No!!! 

Kruno, don't do that! 

Don't kill the mother of my children! 

I am begging you, don't do it! 

I am the one who did everything bad, not her! 

I am the one who killed Marin! 

She had nothing to do with his death, it was all my fault. The night Marin died, he came to my place so we could chill and have some fun together. Silvija was out with her friends and we had enough time to enjoy our company. By that time, I had been fully in love with him and wanted to get a divorce from her so we could be together. Little did I know that he had got involved with her as well, while also having an affair with me. He confessed to me all that very night. 

And you already know I was a cocaine addict back then. But what you don't know is the effects of cocaine mixed with alcohol. It's the worst state one can get themselves into. You feel powerful and invincible, and on top of that, you get some negative thoughts. You then either get so depressed that you have the courage to end with your life, or so impulsive that you may end with somebody elses. Unfortunately, I did the latter. 

After Marin had confessed to me the affair he had been having with Silvija, she also showed up. We had a long and intense fight, all three, in our living room. I learned then that she had also planned to leave me for him. So he was basically playing with both of us. Upon learning all that, intoxicated as I was, I just took a knife from the kitchen and shoved it deep into his chest. And the rest is history. Never take any addictive substances, they are the fastest ticket to hell. Learn from my mistakes. 

So now you know everything. I am not innocent at all. Everything I did in my life, I did it wrong. Except for falling in love with you. That's why I would not be able to deal with the fact that I ruined you. 

I've been trying to call you ever since I got this letter, but you're not picking your phone. Please don't harm her, she is the mother of my two sons. Think of them. Call me or come visit me as soon as possible!