LETTERS TO MY BELOVED PRISONER

Part 25 (series finale)

From: Kruno Matas 

To: Whoever Finds It First 

Destination: Remetinec prison, Zagreb, Croatia 

May 8th 

My dear husband, 

Happy birthday. 

Today was supposed to be your 38th birthday. But they took you away from me. 

For the last three months, I've been living in limbo. Without you, my life has no meaning. 

The last four years I had spent living in paradise. Who could have thought prison could be such a warm, comfy place? But yes, it was for me. At least before you left. 

The best period of my life I've spent it here, with you. The real hell is outside. Outside, where we would have been tormented for the sole fact we are two men in love. And here, we were living in our microcosm, far away from all those who wanted to harm us. 

Who could have thought prison could be the safest and the happiest place for two men in love?

It's so funny when you think about it. But yes. Our life together here was much more enjoyable than it could have ever been on the outside. All until someone decided to break us apart. 

I never found out who was the reason behind Roko being transferred to another prison. I guess it was the State. That same state whose people go out on the streets to fight against abortion, but are the first ones to neglect their own "happily born" children at home. Where people attend mass every Sunday to gossip and who keep committing the same sins they were absolved from during the Confession as soon as they walk out of the church. Where powerful people protected by State, or Church, or another source of big money are more equal than others in an equal-opportunity environment. It was the very same state where gay couple adoptions are being denied, despite having all those poor children in the orphanage. Where ordinary people have to survive the month with 500€ worth of salary, while their rent is 400€. 

It was that state where someone like Roko, or me, had to hide their true selves, because this is not a place for "different people". And who finally decided to break us apart because we were not setting a good example for anyone. Yes, I admit it. We made a lot of mistakes along the way, both Roko and me. But those mistakes brought us together, and that's why I never regretted making any of those. We were just fighting for our happiness, like anyone else. But other people had already all the predispositions for happiness. We did not. We were two men condemned by society for two reasons - one we could have avoided and one we couldn't have. But we were given no chance to redeem ourselves for neither. 

That's why we chose to do what we did. And we almost could have gotten away with it. On that day, that unfortunate day, we finally escaped from prison and got together once again. But the State had to intervene. And just because Roko wouldn't stop running, you shot him. One, two, three shots. You fired three bullets at him. 

He died in my hands.

At least he didn't suffer a lot, he was gone within minutes. 

I am just wondering, why didn't I join him that very day? You should have gotten rid of me too. But no, you just gave me a bunch of tranquilizers. No matter what you did, you couldn't take our four years of being together, happy. Because yes, we did have a happy ending. Our happy ending started the day we met. And this is just the epilogue. 

Whoever finds this letter first, you will find it next to my sleeping body. Don't try to wake me up. Just take the letter and hand it over to my mom, that's my last wish. 

Mom, please forgive me for everything. I hope you will be able to understand me one day. Trust me when I say I had a happy ending. Don't forget me, I will always stay in your heart. 

From here to eternity, 

Kruno

THE END