Miguel O'Hara One-Shots

Just A Secretary,Workplace AU PT 8

The water that's cascading down your face mixes in with your tears. You shouldn't have pushed him to speak, you shouldn't have said anything. You should've left him alone but of course you didn't. Do you even like him? It's pretty clear that he likes you more but…. Oh God, just thinking about Miguel liking you is just so foreign. He actually "like likes" you. Yes, you enjoy being in his presence, talking to him, learning even more about him and stuff, and of course, you're attracted to him you've been attracted to him since day one. But does he really wanna be in a relationship with you? Truthfully it doesn't matter. You can't.

Years before your mom died she worked at a company as an employee and she and the boss ended up falling in love. She worked there for almost a decade. Your mom and her boss have been friends for years; they even went to the same high school. In a matter of months when they finally decided to date they were found out and her reputation tanked. She was one of the best coders out there and the minute her relationship with her boss got out it's like that didn't even matter to them. She was called a slut, whore and everywhere she went people accused her of sleeping her way to the top. Ultimately she couldn't deal with all of the backlash so she ended up moving away. That was probably the hardest thing you all had to endure as a family. Dropping everything to move cities away. That was the town you grew up in, the town you spent practically your whole life in and it easily became the thing you hated the most. Your mom didn't deserve that no one deserved that especially if it wasn't the truth. As much as her boss wanted to be with her publicly she refused. Even after your family left he never stopped sending her letters, flowers, and gifts. He never stopped until she knew she would always be his. Despite everything you knew he loved her and your mom loved him just as much as well. But she let him go. He ended up paying for the whole funeral for both your mom and your brother. As much as you and your sister protested he didn't listen. Since the funeral, you never kept in touch so he doesn't know about your sister's health condition. You know if he did he would pay for everything in a heartbeat. To this day you still don't think he's gotten over her. You don't even think he's been with anyone else since your mom. Is that what true love is like?

This is why you can't be with Miguel. You hate to admit it but you're too scared. You can't deal with all that you're not that strong…. But would it be so wrong if you wanted to try? Would it be so wrong to at least see how things would be? Even though Miguel pissed you off in the beginning slowly but surely you grew to enjoy his presence. He isn't so bad once you get to know him…..But you need time. You can't just jump into a relationship with him. And if you do this you have to set some serious boundaries only behind closed doors you'll be able to…. Dammit, you don't even know how would it look like being in a relationship with Miguel.

But you need to tell him…tell him something, anything you don't need him to think that there isn't something there. Finally finishing shower you put on your dress staring at your reflection in the slightly foggy mirror. This dress is way too revealing and the silk material isn't helping it looks like lingerie. You don't need him to think you're trying to seduce him. Finishing your skincare routine, lotioning up, and brushing your teeth you put a brave face on and make your way out the door grabbing your damp bikini and pushing your bag of toiletries to the far side of the counter. You really need to apologize to him. He confessed to you and you immediately turned him away; he didn't deserve that.

Opening the bathroom you tip-toe into the living room. You quietly call out his name but there’s no response. You peek inside the bedroom and there’s no sign of him. Did he leave? Making your way into the bedroom you notice that there's a note on the bed.

I’ll be back, don't wait up

-M
Damn, he really did leave…..Who knows when he’s going to be back should you text him or should you give him space? Truthfully you’ve done enough you don’t want to hurt him more than you already have. You walk around turning off all of the lights leaving the bedroom light on so he won’t be met by complete darkness. Maybe you should read a little in hopes of catching him when he comes back. Bringing your book into bed you tuck yourself under the sheets stopping it just below your chest. You really hope he’s okay. Maybe you should just send him a quick text it's almost 3 am. He shouldn't be out this late. Would he even respond? You can't blame him if he chooses not to. You decide on shooting him a quick text and then another. Biting your nails nervously as you wait for his response. Looking down at your phone you feel tears well up in your eyes as you see he left you on read. You really messed things up.