|75| • Amelia

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I never thought I'd be in someplace like this. Staring at the building made goosebumps trail on my skin. I needed to do this, so why was it making me so anxious? Taking a deep breath, I nibbled on my lip, hoping it'd calm me down. Come on Amelia, this is going to help you. I tried talking myself into it. The appointment had already been made, Kaji had already dropped me off, saying she'd be waiting nearby. It was my turn to do something, so why was I hesitating?

Was this how nerve-wrecked Evie felt like going to therapy?

Hugging my elbows, I shook my head. I wasn't sure what exactly I and the therapist were going to do, or even talk about, yet I was scared. Scared because it felt as though I was going to strip in front of a stranger. Strip all my emotions and let the professional dissect into them, call me out and criticize me. Ah...what am I even saying? Closing my eyes, I took another breath.

Every second I wasted outside was a second I could've spent with the therapist.

Goodness gracious.

Didn't I want to get better again?! Huffing in annoyance, I formed a fist, stomping into the building like I had a query for the manager. The room was on the first floor, so speedily — before my nerves gave out — I climbed the staircase. Opening and shutting my palms repeatedly, they were sweaty now.

The door was brown, it looked basic but the golden name tag made it a bit more vibrant. 'Dr Jones' the name of the therapist was written in bold, for no one to miss. Looking around, I saw the hallway empty, there were other doors which stretched as long as the hallway. I wondered, were they all therapists here?

Opening my folded fist, I touched the cold door handle, twisting it open. A cool air blew past me, the calming scent of cinnamon and vanilla filling my nostrils. Without looking inside, I took a step into the room, closing the door behind me. I was finally here.

I admit, I was pretty embarrassed when I asked Kaji if she knew any therapists around, it made me seem a bit cuckoo in the head. However, I felt didn't matter more than the will I had to change. It was hard to let people go, even when I knew they'd do not harm than good in staying, I just couldn't stand the fact that they'd leave me all alone. It took a lot to know that wasn't just me being selfish, it was a real issue I had to fix.

"It's nice that you made it, Miss Amelia. I was thinking you'd taken for the hills." A light joke came with the thick voice. Realizing I was still standing there like a deer caught in the headlights, I let the handle of the door go, wiping my dampened hands on my jeans. Turning to the voice, I was met with a middle-aged man, dark-skinned and with a soft smile.

"Oh, uh...I thought of that. No, that was a joke, sorry, bad joke." I was nervous, and rambling. With quick strides, I made it to the sofa, "Can I?" He gestured his hands, picking up his notebook and pen. Oh. He was going to write my issues down on there, wasn't he? Yikes. Plopping on the sofa, I intertwined my hands, pursing my lips as he slowly made his way to the opposite seat.

"My name is Dr. Jones and I'll be your therapist." He introduced smoothly, making me almost shrink in defeat. Could I ever be as put together as that? "I, my name's Amelia...Amelia Njoli." I worded, trying to match his finesse but failing.

He smiled, nodding. "Firstly, I want to commend you for booking this, not many people are bold enough to see it through. So that's good. Also, there's a little secret I'll let you in on, half of the problem is already solved when you open up about it." The way he spoke calmed me down, there wasn't a reason to be nervous anymore. For some odd reason, I trusted him to keep this confidential.

Was that because of his profession? His aura? The 'Dr' in his name? Whichever it was, I relaxed on his sofa.

And what he said, I just hoped he was right. Ah...yeah, I guess that means I'll have to open up about my problems.

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