Three Idiots and a Ghost

Because it opens you up to new things (Part 01)

"Woof?!" Warrick blurted out, realizing their trip to Wisconsin was for nothing.

But Walt wasn't as quick to be in dismay. "Who did you lend it to?"

"He was..." Merlin took a moment to think about it. "Actually, he never told me his name. He did have quite an ominous aura to him, though."

"I thought you said you wouldn't give that item to just anymore."

Merlin shrugged. "Well, he asked nicely. Plus, he followed the doorbell sign and knocked."

Ever sighed. "Great, now what?"

"I suppose you visitors would have to track the boy down and ask nicely yourselves. He seemed around your age, though that does not mean I'm assuming he was or anything!"

"What did he look like?" Walt asked.

"Quite tall. I would say taller than you boys."

Walt and Warrick were pretty tall too, standing a little over six feet. Walt was a quarter of an inch taller, which Warrick claimed was because he lived three minutes more than he did. Although, it was probably more because Walt kept a regular sleep schedule, unlike his night owl of a brother.

"Anything else?"

"Black hair, hazel eyes, pale skin, and the worst dark circles imaginable. Not an assumption, but he looked like a vampire. He also had thirteen ear piercings, six on his right and seven on his left."

Even though these were pretty specific details, it would be impossible for the three teens to track down this mysterious person without his name. Having his name would have allowed the twins to cast a location spell or at least search him up on social media. But fortunately, all hope wasn't lost yet.

"Since this is for the Wolf Queen, I'll give you another special item of mine that will help you track down the PISS. One moment."

Merlin placed Doug down and stepped out of the room. His cat followed him to go use the litter box. As if the old man had scooped up the chocolate surprise in the box, he returned with a necklace adorned with a lumpy brown stone.

Handing it to Walt, he said, "Luckily, the Great Wizard Chamberlain Pots who created the PISS also created the POOP."

"Oh, god. And what does that stand for?" Ever asked, thinking that wizards must have had the worst naming sense imaginable.

"The Pendant for Obtaining Object PISS. That brown stone gets softer the closer it is to the PISS. Right now, it is as hard as constipated stool. But bring it near enough to the PISS, and it'll practically become liquid diarrhea!"

Warrick gagged at the disgusting comparison and whimpered like a sick puppy. His brother, who had a much stronger stomach, gave the POOP a gentle squeeze. While it was hard, it wasn't exactly as solid as a rock. Perhaps the person who took the PISS hadn't gotten too far away yet. In that case, they needed to get a move on quickly.

"Thank you, Merlin," Walt said. "We should leave now."

"Alright, safe travels, visitors. And do tell the Wolf Queen hello for me."

"Sure thing."

The trio said their goodbyes to Merlin and his cat and got back to their car. With Walt at the wheel, he tossed the POOP to his brother in the passenger seat.

"Keep squeezing that and tell me if it gets any softer."

"Woof?" Warrick said, pointing at himself.

"Yeah, you do it. You enjoy squeezing hard things, don't you?"

"You're gay?" Ever asked immediately in the back seat.

"Woof," Warrick replied, shaking his head.

"He's bi," Walt said.

"I see."

In that moment, Ever spotted the Doveland, Wisconsin gift shop. Warrick saw it, too. He turned to his brother with wide puppy-dog eyes and scratched at the window.

"Are you actually turning into a dog?"

"Hngh," Warrick whimpered, continuing to scratch the window to be let out.

"Ugh, fine. But make it quick. We can't lose that guy."

Walt parked the car in front of the store and let Warrick go buy whatever souvenirs he wanted. Warrick had actually mentioned wanting to stop by the gift shop earlier that day in order to obtain concrete proof that the small town of Doveland wasn't merely a hoax.

"You're not going, too?" Ever asked.

Walt waved the POOP Warrick tossed in his seat before leaving. "I should watch over this. You can go and check things out if you want."

Ever figured she might as well, especially since Warrick currently couldn't communicate like a human being. The two of them entered the store, but no one was behind the counter at the moment. That didn't bother Warrick who went off to look at the assortment of official Doveland hats and T-shirts. Ever decided to get herself a pen as well. Once they had everything they wanted to buy, they walked up to the counter and rang the bell.

"Coming!"

"Woof?!"

Warrick recognized the voice right away. But it wasn't so much because it sounded familiar. In fact, the voice had gotten quite a bit lower since the last time he heard it back in middle school. No, the true reason went far deeper than that, right down to his soul. After all, there was no way he wouldn't recognize his master.

"Woah, no way," a blonde-haired girl said the moment she walked out of the back room. She immediately recognized Warrick, too. "If it isn't my bitch!"

• • •

For those who are unfamiliar, Doveland, Wisconsin is a real urban legend. As far as records go, it never existed, but some people claim it did, only to completely vanish in the 90s. There's even Doveland merch, which people use as "proof" of its existence.